Game : Random Adventures

[Ricky_Honejasi]

*Looks around* Did we just time travel before the crash!?

Out of "narrative" character : Nah, it's a "chain follow" of events that followed one after another.

1) Bobert entered the Doack's underground base first
2) Then you followed Bobert ending up in the base second
3) Aekes followed you in the lowrider and ended up in the base third (since he is in the same party as you and to avoid being split up)

EDIT : Also in case that it confuses anyone, Taeradun's forum name is "Doctor Doack" (with mario-like avatar) despite Mesk having the forum name "Doctor Doack" as well.

[IskatuMesk]

Meanwhile, deep in the center of the universe, surrounded by a dozen crimson stars of eternal rage...

A great structure was beginning to take shape. Larger than a star system and surrounded by thousands of massive translucent green cylinders, protected by a sheen of reflective coating, the object had an unusual resemblance to a giant penis.

In his new state of phase, KING FUCKIN' DOACK had been given insight to THE ULTIMATE WEAPON once left behind by a race of enormous giants that resembled various genitalia. However, in order for this THE ULTIMATE WEAPON to work, it required a power source. A power source that had to be so horrendously fairy, so horribly faggy and dyke-like, that merely being subject to its very presence could turn the average man inside-out.

"FIND ME CHRIS HANSEN" KING FUCKIN' DOACK announced to his brainwashed legions of Confederate ships. "FIND HIM AND BRING ME HIS MOJO... DEAD OR ALIVE."

Meanwhile, the Loli harvesting plan was in top shape. Already his thousands of cloning cyclinders had begun to produce a massive clone army of lolis. The Lolis were armed with various high-tech weapons, extremely provocative "armor", and single-minded needs to destroy. The original lolis were funneled through a network of gateways into THE ULTIMATE WEAPON's secondary focus devices, the translucent cells, each protected by immense shielding capacity. There the Lolis would await their fate in phase two of THE ULTIMATE WEAPON.

And so the universe darkened...

[Ricky_Honejasi]

Episode 4: The loli invasions

Meanwhile, deep in the center of the universe, surrounded by a dozen crimson stars of eternal rage...

A great structure was beginning to take shape. Larger than a star system and surrounded by thousands of massive translucent green cylinders, protected by a sheen of reflective coating, the object had an unusual resemblance to a giant penis.

In his new state of phase, KING FUCKIN' DOACK had been given insight to THE ULTIMATE WEAPON once left behind by a race of enormous giants that resembled various genitalia. However, in order for this THE ULTIMATE WEAPON to work, it required a power source. A power source that had to be so horrendously fairy, so horribly faggy and dyke-like, that merely being subject to its very presence could turn the average man inside-out.

"FIND ME CHRIS HANSEN" KING FUCKIN' DOACK announced to his brainwashed legions of Confederate ships. "FIND HIM AND BRING ME HIS MOJO... DEAD OR ALIVE."

Meanwhile, the Loli harvesting plan was in top shape. Already his thousands of cloning cyclinders had begun to produce a massive clone army of lolis. The Lolis were armed with various high-tech weapons, extremely provocative "armor", and single-minded needs to destroy. The original lolis were funneled through a network of gateways into THE ULTIMATE WEAPON's secondary focus devices, the translucent cells, each protected by immense shielding capacity. There the Lolis would await their fate in phase two of THE ULTIMATE WEAPON.

And so the universe darkened...

And it so it happens ... a double-line of armed lolis is in front of Doack protecting him from Aekes and Chalupa in the underground secret base.

What could Aekes and Chalupa do to stop the evil Doack that started his plan for mass conquest? Something HAS to be done. Everything has a flaw or a weakness after all ...

The heroism sentiment starts to flood Aekes' blood. Will it unlock some secret techniques, unleash some deep inner strength or something else to save the day?

Chalupa starts to feel packing some action in front of the lolis to win against somehow.


Meanwhile on Aiur ...

A hour later after the hybrid's disappearance, Doack's Armed lolis are about to invade Aiur and the invasion is detected by the Protoss Base's radars.

The radars also confirmed a production source on Earth which is basically the secret underground base (with Aekes and Chalupa in it) as the mass production of lolis clearly give away persistent energy signatures. Protoss ships are currently on stand off for any take off.


Meanwhile on other parts of Earth ...

Bobert is back in the forest and didn't encounter any lolis yet as the forest is in a rather out of place location in the first place anyway.

Chris Hansen is still picking his nose in front of his pie piece ship in New Mexico. Some lolis appeared requesting his mojo off his body peacefully for now ...

In the first town, Steven Roads notices Doack's armed lolis debarking in town. It's clear that violence is about to ensue as even the mayor and his two bodyguards just went outside heavily-armed to meet them the hard way.

So far, Arveleg didn't see any lolis yet near his home but he knows something is terribly wrong somewhere on Earth. His pie piece ship is still next to his house for any takeoff.

[IskatuMesk]

"You're too late!" KING FUCKIN' DOACK announces across his base's PA systems. "I am one of many, one of an infinite spectrum of power that reaches across the entire galaxy!" his horrifying voice that could turn a child inside-out echoes across the cavern as thousands of Loli clones are assembled in its depths. Meanwhile, Doack makes his way to his secret flagship, the Anal Ranger.

"I learned something key... something that will change the course of the universe for all time. You are but the stepping stones for a greater future. Behold, your destiny, destruction and fear untold! Across the galaxy my armies and fleets awaken for the first and final battle. The sky shall rain fire, and the sea shall fill with blood. The righteous shall fall before the wicked, and all creation shall tremble before... THE ULTIMATE WEAPON!! A weapon so massive, so powerful, that there is no possible conceivable way it could be approached without being instantly lubricated. Alas, its creators fell victim to a nasty case of heart burn... But I am truly immortal, now! Buahahahahahahahahahaha!!!"

[Ricky_Honejasi]

Also ...

Zilla's ghost is still in the torture room in the "heavens" although he knows that he can mentally load one of his saves ...

Code: Select all

Game data : 
Save #1 : [Zilla -     Level 4 Communist  - Doackmobile Energy/Missile Room - 03:04:23]
Save #2 : [Zilla -     Level 4 Communist  (ghost) - New Mexico - 08:05:21]
[EMPTY]

Desler is still happy in the Japanese bath room in heavens despite all the carnage in the mortal world. If he is bored, he can reincarnate.

Remainder : you can still join the game as a new character if you want to.

EDIT : Decided to "split" the thread's story into episode links.

Episodes of the story :
Episode 1 : Chaos at the tavern
Episode 2 : Doackmobile on the run
Episode 3 : Death and Bounty
Episode 4 : The loli invasions

[Aekenon]

*Looks around* Did we just time travel before the crash!?

Out of "narrative" character : Nah, it's a "chain follow" of events that followed one after another.

1) Bobert entered the Doack's underground base first
2) Then you followed Bobert ending up in the base second
3) Aekes followed you in the lowrider and ended up in the base third (since he is in the same party as you and to avoid being split up)

(I somehow missed that line about us crashing into Doack's base, and thought we were still chasing.  Heh, heh... ugh.  Thanks for the save)



Although Aekes didn't understand a word of Doack's nonsensical rambling, he was able to grasp that he was evil.  And that this base of his was potentially unhealthy for the world.  But for one as simple as Aekes, that's all he needed to know.

"Alright, Chalupa, back me up!  I'm fixing to enter glorious battle with this vile legion of ill-repute!" Aekes sounded out, releasing his Mythril Sword from its scabbard, and then mystically drawing a second Mythril Sword from his left boot.  Oddly enough, this time of crisis seems to have increased Aekes' fighting capabilities, as he looks a fair bit more impressive than he did a moment ago.  He let out a mighty battle cry ("Power to the Pupae!!") and lunged at the army with both swords itching for action.


- Aekes' target is the cloning machine, in order to put a stop to the loli production.  An army stands in his way, but he intends to dispatch along the way.

[Taeradun]

seek out some zerg to grind for EXP and items

invite Dr Nosebone to join me if he wants

[Lavarinth]

Chalupa realizes he's still a level 1 Chalupa, however, nods in agreement. Chalupa grabs the empty bottle of alcohol, and breaks it revealing sharp edges. "Onward!" Chalupa charges in with Aekes towards the device.

[Milldawg]

>Grind for items
>Find: SHARDS OF ANDURIL
>Reforge Anduril
>Find: ARBITER WRECKAGE
>Reforge Arbiter
>Recall Chris Hansen into giant fortified underground bunker
>Recall self, Taeradun, and the Protoss army into Doack's underground base
>Offer one dildo to Chalupa
>Equip Anduril with free hand (or robotic tentacle, whatever)
>SPEECH

"KING FUCKIN' DOACK! Your reign of terror has gone unchecked for too long. In my youth I followed you blindly, believing I could help you rise to power for the good of all. But you have become corrupt with your own greed and immortality! As I was reborn into this Dragoon shell, I realized this. I can follow you no longer. Taeradun, do as you wish with your Protoss army, but I shall fight. ONWARD!"

>Join Aekes and Chalupa in battle

[Taeradun]

seek out some zerg to grind for EXP and items

[Taeradun]

FUCK
what I meant to say is

> Join Aekes and Chalupa and Nosebone in battle

[Ricky_Honejasi]

Although Aekes didn't understand a word of Doack's nonsensical rambling, he was able to grasp that he was evil.  And that this base of his was potentially unhealthy for the world.  But for one as simple as Aekes, that's all he needed to know.

"Alright, Chalupa, back me up!  I'm fixing to enter glorious battle with this vile legion of ill-repute!" Aekes sounded out, releasing his Mythril Sword from its scabbard, and then mystically drawing a second Mythril Sword from his left boot.  Oddly enough, this time of crisis seems to have increased Aekes' fighting capabilities, as he looks a fair bit more impressive than he did a moment ago.  He let out a mighty battle cry ("Power to the Pupae!!") and lunged at the army with both swords itching for action.

- Aekes' target is the cloning machine, in order to put a stop to the loli production.  An army stands in his way, but he intends to dispatch along the way.

Aekes heroically rushes into the enemy piercing a way into the defensive line of lolis. Normally he would be shot down by the time he would arrive but he somehow runs a lot faster than usual.

4 lolis were killed from Aekes' slashes and 12 lolis died from enemy fire as they tried to shoot Aekes in the middle of his line pierce which 6 killing enemy fires went from "side A" of the split double-line to "side B" and another 6 killing enemy fires from "side B" to "side A".

Aekes is now in front of the cloning chamber of the underground base, he tries a normal slash but becomes repeled from the cloning chamber's advanced shields. Then he closes his eyes, starts taking a deep breath and enters an extremely short but intense meditation.

Then he opens his eyes.

Aekes murmur some incomprehensible name but its seems to be clearly some sword technique name. He attacks at such intensive speed with both swords on the shields that it almost seems like he had 100 swords. The shields fails from Aekes' unknown technique although Aekes is now gravely tired from using it.

Aekes starts attacking the cloning chamber without its shields, so far it became badly damaged but it could have been destroyed already in a flash if Aekes wasn't quite exhausted. Aekes still continues to attack the cloning chamber for now to eventually destroy it fairly soon nonetheless. Doack became mortified that the cloning chamber is already in such a bad shape and surely he will do something ...

Chalupa realizes he's still a level 1 Chalupa, however, nods in agreement. Chalupa grabs the empty bottle of alcohol, and breaks it revealing sharp edges. "Onward!" Chalupa charges in with Aekes towards the device.

Chalupa did charge with Aekes but as he was slower than Aekes, he was still in the "cross-fire" between the split double lines (the split from Aekes' charge) of lolis. Fortunately, he does manage to dodge fairly easily the shots from the lolis in addition of being of an unconventional height. So far, the lolis seems to be all concentrated on Chalupa at the moment which also draws their attention from Aekes.

Aekes leveled from a Level 0.1.3 Wanderer to a Level 0.1.3.5  Wanderer.
Chalupa leveled from a Level 1 Chalupa to a Level 4 Chalupa.

Taeradun : seek out some zerg to grind for EXP and items

invite Dr Nosebone to join me if he wants

Taeradun went outside of the Protoss base to grind the zerg. After blowing the head of various Zerg with his physhic powers, he leveled up and found 2000 yen, Claws of Attack +0 and a "Book of -5 permanent levels" from their corpses. Randomized item table for the win!

Taeradun leveled from a Level 22 Protoss High Templar to a Level 23 Protoss High Templar.
Taeradun gains item : 2000 yen.
Taeradun gains item : Claws of Attack +0.
Taeradun gains item : Book of -5 permanent levels.

Doctor Nosebone :
>Grind for items
>Find: SHARDS OF ANDURIL
>Reforge Anduril
>Find: ARBITER WRECKAGE
>Reforge Arbiter
>Recall Chris Hansen into giant fortified underground bunker
>Recall self, Taeradun, and the Protoss army into Doack's underground base
>Offer one dildo to Chalupa
>Equip Anduril with free hand (or robotic tentacle, whatever)
>SPEECH

"KING FUCKIN' DOACK! Your reign of terror has gone unchecked for too long. In my youth I followed you blindly, believing I could help you rise to power for the good of all. But you have become corrupt with your own greed and immortality! As I was reborn into this Dragoon shell, I realized this. I can follow you no longer. Taeradun, do as you wish with your Protoss army, but I shall fight. ONWARD!"

>Join Aekes and Chalupa in battle

All of this happened ... Chris Hansen is now a prisoner into a giant fortified underground bunker on Aiur, saved from potentially losing his mojo to lolis.

Meanwhile Doctor Nosebone and Taeradun are now in Doack's underground base and they joined the fight against Doack. Chalupa accepts a dildo from Dr.Nosebone.

Doctor Nosebone "leveled" from a Dildo Dragoon Overlord to a Dildo Dragoon Overlord from his earlier grind.
Doctor Nosebone gains item : Anduril (equipped as weapon).
Chalupa gains items : Dildo.

[IskatuMesk]

"Gosh darnit!" KING FUCKIN' DOACK exclaims to his various phased selfs.

Instantly, one of Doack's phased selfs appears inside the bunker beside Chris Hansen.

"LOL STOLE YOUR MOJO" he exclaims as he reaches outwards with a rusty cheese grater.

Elsewhere, back in the secret underground base, the other KING FUCKIN' DOACK brings out a remote completely riddled in giant imposing red buttons.

"Let'see how they deal with this!" He exclaims, pressing the button to release a fleet of flying sharks with lasers on their heads. The sharks are sent after the intruding party as the ANAL RANGER prepares its ascent by rapidly vibrating.

[Lavarinth]

Chalupa chucks randomly acquired dildo at ANAL RANGER, hoping for some positive result.

Chalupa pulls on a string of lettuce, with some strange writing on it, apparently a spell chart. He attempts to locate if any new useful spells were acquiring by leveling up.

[Thalraxal]

Arveleg sighed and put down his book and quickly finished his cup of tea.

"If it's not one thing it's another." grumbled Arveleg as he repacked his gear and left his house, "I'd better go and deal with this before the forces of evil storm my backyard and eat all my begonias again."

The mage boarded his Pie Piece Ship and took off towards the nearest source of evil, KING FUCKIN' DOACK's Secret Underground Bunker on Earth.