HoMM 6
A lot of people that were once a part of the community but have all passed away in horrible car crashes were religious HoMM3 players. Well, there's now a fucking number 6 just out of NOWHERE like all that and he's the talk of the town with his tomboy overalls and cowboy hat. But how does he compare to the tried and true?
Well, the interface is almost exactly the same as 5, if that's any indication of how bad the interface design is. It feels like a console port, with noticable jumpiness between menu transitions at points. If anything, the youtube-esque spinner you get while it loads the town video is something to shit bricks about.

I THOUGHT I LEFT YOU BEHIND ON KORHAL YOU FAGGOT
The game has notably struck with the Casual plague. As you can see, a chunk of resources are gone - Crystal, Murcery, and my sunday favorite, Sulfur, are all gone. Instead of Gems you've got BLOOD CRYSTALS, which are still blue, even though Crystals before were red, and weren't blood. Or some shit like that.
The buying interface needs some cockslapping - double clicking doesn't buy SHIT and it looks like you can drag-drop buy but you can't. Fucking dirty, filthy console peasants.
It isn't terribly obvious what everything is like at first - I didn't realize there was still initiative until I actually saw some bonuses to it from items and abilities.

Graphics remain similar to HoMM5 which isn't a bad thing. However, the textures are still fairly low resolution and feet slide all over the place like they hired Blizzard's dumbass sc2 animation interns. The animations otherwise are respectable, given HoMM5 as a reference. I don't like playing on increased animation speeds because I am here for the shiny. Yes, I'm a CGI masturbation marathoner. Five-time champion! Some attack animations look incredibly clumsy, like the Ravager's, which remind me of the wc3 yetis. Some are awesome like the Pit Fiend's.
The particles exhibit some incredible strangeness, though. They seem to be displaying at a very low FPS. It's like how sc2 was in alpha. I suspect this is a major bug of some nature and will get fixed on released. It is incredibly unnerving, because a lot of spells and effects make it feel like the game is lagging when it isn't.
Notable - the game spends 20-40 seconds "reloading resources" when you alt tab. This isn't because it flushed memory, but because it's badly programmed. A lot of impacts are missing sound effects.
The sound effects are lacking, in fact about half the game seems to be missing SFX still, including fireball hits. I expect this to be resolved in release. The music on the other hand seems to be really, really good.
Aha, the gameplay! I knew there was something I was forgetting.
The gameplay is very different. They changed some things enormously. Here's some quick bulletpoints.
- The combat is a mix between 3 and 5. You have initiative still, but there are now turns. So the initiative is relative to turns, making it much less powerful than in 5. Combat maps seem smaller than 5? Monsters seem to be able to cross them very fast...
- Spellbooks and towers are gone. Instead you have a talent point system. This talent point system replaces every single skill and spell you otherwise get in the entire game. Yes, as Inferno you can grab nature spells right away if you want.
- Direct damage skills seem largely nerfed and have turn-based cooldowns. Siege defenses have been colossally nerfed and are now basically useless. Dudes can attack gates/walls. Stuff like Gating has been massively nerfed and is now based on what is best described as a rage bar. Haven't tried Necropolis yet. Stronghold rage only slightly boosts initiative in your current turn and a bit of attack.
- Units tend to have a lot more unique abilities. Some of them are rather terrifying - the Pit Fiend retaliates against everyone who has ever attacked him.
- Normal difficulty computers seem to massively cheat. I think they get a fuckton of free money. They always have 3-4x my army size.
- The one skirmish map you get is classified as "very large" but is in fact blood bath level. It doesn't even have underground. As to be expected under such circumstances, cpu turns don't take very long. The CPU's are extremely dumb, though. I can freely take their towns and loot without them seeming to really give a shit in most cases. Their combat AI is good, though. Auto combat tends to waste your units as usual.
I actually like the new skill system, it removes the irritation out of trying to fuck around with RNG. The spell cooldowns and such are ho hum, it seems very difficult to make a decent spellcaster hero. My experience so far is that it's best to invest into buffs instead, but I have not played much. Also, luck (now known as DESTINY) seems to be far less effective than before. It actually sucks when I stacked it to huge levels. I had something like 70 destiny and it very rarely went off. Morale is still decent.
I did not think badly of HoMM5 except for the incredibly late RMG and the extremely slow ass CPU turns. It always felt a bit sluggish, which 6 seems to have improved on. However, I think the game needs a massive UI re-design and the town halls need their 3d view craziness from 5 back. Without fucking spinners. 6 has potential, but currently that's all it has.
wtf why did they remove dungeon? I want my dark elveses and hydras and dragons aaaaaaaargh
- There is no RMG currently. This means no buy from me. When one gets added I'll think about setting sail and determining if it's worth buying.
Space Mariner
The title is Space Marine but I like to call it Space Mariner because it feels like you're a mariner, swimming amongst a sea of lard. Movement is clunky, and the mandatory screen shaking on sprinting is nothing short of casually brain damaging.
This is another God of War clone, except the combat system has no depth to it at all, the enemy AI is exceedingly badly designed, and the graphics are xbox 360 level - e.g. quite bad on the PC. They are passable, but the gameplay is basically mashing mouse buttons and winning. Basically, it's just there to stroke wh40k cock some more. Not necessarily a bad thing, but I wouldn't drop money into it.
I'll probably LP it when it comes out, so there's no point in anyone here buying it.
PRESS ENTER TO CONTINUE "no I want to click" PRESS ENTER "dude I have a fucking mouse" PRESS ENTER "FUCK YOU RELIC"