Campaign Creations

dreamerhorwitz wrote: Steven Roads : "I knew those hit man days would come back to haunt me." Steven turns his cybernetics on and tries to get a clear view of the bar tender without getting shot. "Come on," he muttered, "just a few facts you don't want me to know."

Steven Roads' cybernetics are advanced and allows him to find quickly a target. It finds the bartender. However, the bartender was already dead, its cybernetics' data shows it was accidentally killed by some random patron inside the tavern during the current gunfire.

Aekenon wrote:Aekes : Aekes decides to approach Chalupa and offer his assistance to the little guy.  Because it felt like the right thing to do.

Aekes does approach Chalupa. At close view, it definitively look like possessed yummy food that continually jumps. However Aekes' heart knew it was living like any human and did need help of some kind.

EDIT :

Taeradun wrote:Taeradun : TEAM ROCKET wants to join Doack's party

Taeradun was seduced by Doack's power and is dragging the drunk Bobert into fusing with Doack and Dr.Nosebone with "love".

Bobert : Even though he is completely shit faced, he still knows that this new party is GG.

Zilla notices a white inconspicuous looking van. He paints a hammer and sickle on it using the blood of the shot patrons. Then hops in and notices doack's circlejerk and asks to join in (if you know what I mean).

Steven, keeping a close eye out for whoever shot him, walks to the bartender's corpse and takes a bullet from one of the holes.

"What, help me?! I'M A CHALUPA! Here take this!"

Whimsically hands Aekes a broken bottle of Jack.

"Alright, now I heard that beaner Desler was here.. I need you to CUT HIM UP GOOD HE STOLE MY CAR!"

Holds up keys.

"Go check outside. I need to get a few more people and see if anyone else wants to help CUT HIM UP!"

Chalupa signals outside.

"'EY, WHO WANTS SOME BEANS FOR DINNER!?"

Arveleg pulled himself into the nearby chair.  He was fairly certain he could escape, but he wasn't sure what exactly he was dealing with.  The mage decided to see what he could learn about his captor, and for himself to fully recover from the effects of the drug, before trying anything.

"Now, how about you explain yourself." grumbled the mage, squinting at the interrogation light.

"No, it's time for you to explain these!" Hansen shouts as he whips out a loli from his back pocket. The loli appears slightly rumpled.

i have no idea whats going on

"A lunatic.  Good.  I'm not dealing with anything out of the ordinary here." thought the mage.

Arveleg squinted at Hansen and the rumpled object he was trying to show him.

"I can't really see whatever that is.  It might have something to do with that blinding light you've got shining into my eyes." said Arveleg.

"Then I shall let Doack have his way with you" Hansen shouts triumphantly, while beckoning Doack forward to place his manly manliness in front of the interrogation light.

"We must know your secrets." KING FUCKIN' DOACK announces as he reaches into his brilliant shining armor, withdrawing a slightly rusted cheese grater from its depths. "All of your dirty secrets." A sound echoing clank of the 42 pound device slamming into the table adds emphasis to his comically evil voice, crimson eyes piercing the darkness with untold power and evilness adding to a particularly dreadful if not creepily evil atmosphere.

"Nosebone. Set course for bat country. That death star is about to make landfall."

"And don't forget those drunk twits clawing and scraping at the door. We can use them later."

Zilla wrote:Zilla : Zilla notices a white inconspicuous looking van. He paints a hammer and sickle on it using the blood of the shot patrons. Then hops in and notices doack's circlejerk and asks to join in (if you know what I mean).

Zilla wants to be in Doack's party. :p

Other actions are delayed until end of tick 0 (like after I do quite a few other delayed actions first).

dreamerhorwitz wrote:Steven : Steven, keeping a close eye out for whoever shot him, walks to the bartender's corpse and takes a bullet from one of the holes.

He did all that and he got an extra bullet in his inventory. The bartender still got its tongue out, its eyes funny and looks very but very stupid.

Doctor Doack wrote:"We must know your secrets." KING FUCKIN' DOACK announces as he reaches into his brilliant shining armor, withdrawing a slightly rusted cheese grater from its depths. "All of your dirty secrets." A sound echoing clank of the 42 pound device slamming into the table adds emphasis to his comically evil voice, crimson eyes piercing the darkness with untold power and evilness adding to a particularly dreadful if not creepily evil atmosphere.

"Nosebone. Set course for bat country. That death star is about to make landfall."

"And don't forget those drunk twits clawing and scraping at the door. We can use them later."

Actions are delayed until end of tick 0 (like after I do quite a few other delayed actions first).

EDIT :

Lavarinth wrote:Chapula : "What, help me?! I'M A CHALUPA! Here take this!"

Whimsically hands Aekes a broken bottle of Jack.

"Alright, now I heard that beaner Desler was here.. I need you to CUT HIM UP GOOD HE STOLE MY CAR!"

Holds up keys.

"Go check outside. I need to get a few more people and see if anyone else wants to help CUT HIM UP!"

Chalupa signals outside.

"'EY, WHO WANTS SOME BEANS FOR DINNER!?"

The actions essentially while giving the broken bottle of Jack to Aekes.

... and now I will start to process all the delayed actions and their logical orders. :p

"Episode 1 : Chaos at the tavern" is over.

Episode 2 : Doackmobile on the run

Chapter 2.1 : Desler on road rage

Desler have gone outside of the tavern and he finds his rundown lowrider car. As his hands reach his pocket, he finds he doesn't have keys so he just his car's window with his guns the hardcore way. As the windows becomes completely shattered, he just "kicks" the shattered glass now on his seat in front/below of his driving seat. Behind his car, he has his alive headless dog trying to smack him but failing for the obvious reasons. Desler nods at his dog.

Desler then decides to invoke the hidden power of his Virgin Mary Shirt, he is blessed with a tremendous +50 luck and stamina.

He turns on his car and goes at 150 km/hour and rams into a horse, the horse is dead instantly and flies for a good 20 meters into a house easily breaking a hole in it. Desler then issues similar carnage against various horses outside.

The luck he gained made that his car suffered extremely limited damage considering the reckless damage he just caused.

Chapter 2.2 : Zilla drinkin'

Zilla go outside and runs around in the street. He drinks and drinks more vodka until he becomes drunk emptying his half bottle of vodka. There is wench that suddenly comes at his arms trying to seduce him hoping to reach his pockets. Zilla knocks her out. The wench falls on the ground, arms and legs spread in her minimal outfit.

Chapter 2.3 : Doackmobile : van version

Doack tells Dr.Nosebone to go into the Doackmobile which is currently a white van. Chris Hanson was there to point them the right direction into the van. Also inside the van, Arveleg was already attached behind and inconscious as he was drugged by Chris Hanson.

Zilla saw all of this and the white van. He had the brilliant idea of touching the blood all over the place in tavern to paint the sickle and hammer on the van. As Doack, Dr.Nosebone and Chris Hanson were preparing to leave with Arveleg attached, Zilla decided to sneakly open the door to just meet all of them. Zilla makes a big smile and asks if he could join.

Chapter 2.4 : Doackmobile : Battleship version

Doack now orders Dr.Nosebone to change the van into a battleship to leave the planet to avoid the doomsday he intend to cause. Dr.Nosebone went towards the inside front of the van and he saw lots of buttons. Dr.Nosebone is a doctor but not a pilot nor a driver thus he just randomly push buttons.

First the van becomes a coffee machine, nearly crippling everyone to death in addition of spilling boiling hot coffee on everyone inside.  Inside the "death box", Dr.Nosebone's nearly broken arm just had enough reach to push a nearly-attainable button inside the tiny wee to transform it into a battleship uncrippling everyone. Dr.Nosebone only just passed his dildo on himself and everyone else shortly after to heal everyone as if nothing happened.

The mighty battleship crushed about 25 houses in a row and 15 houses in length to make space for it. Zilla's logo was amplified on the battleship. Many of the tavern patrons were outside and were surprised and in awe of the "large metal sea ship" in the middle of the ground.

An idea did cross Doack's mind : to beam up the common medieval tavern patrons as they could make crew for the ship. It was done.

Taeradun and Bobert looks up at the sky abandoned by the supreme lord of the battleship.

The Doackmobile is now in orbit with still Dr.Nosebone at the commands while Doack and Chris Hanson are starting to question Arveleg in some interrogation room. Zilla and the beamed common tavern patrons are flailing.

Chapter 2.5 : The death star's "crash"

Scorpies commanded a death star and their orders was to crash it into the planet.

Far away, Dr. Wends overview the whole situation with radars and such. He was a scientific scorpy . His supreme intelligence (read : average real intelligence vs the usual ridiculously stupid of most scorpies) knew what was going to happen and predicted everything.

He draw out the specific "Fail List" that he prepared for this case.

FAIL LIST

- Going into the other nearby planet instead of the right planet ... checked.
- "Crashing" at only 50 km/hour instead of a real crash, not even moving the planet ... checked.
- When "crashing", pushed the Shockwave button instead of the accelerator button ... checked.
- Them in wandering what went wrong and picking their noses ... checked.

Then the death star's Shockwave made the impact of pushing & mad spinning the planet with that tavern building AND the other planet.

As the planet spins, everything not glued to the ground goes up into the air and then down for approximately 4 seconds as the planet's gravity isn't enough to fully compensate.

Chapter 2.6 : On the planet ...

Desler was still inside his lowrider car as the planet starts its mad spin, his luck somehow made his car stay in the air while going up and down never hitting the ground which he avoids the constant damage from hitting the ground.

As Taeradun's armor warned him of the danger ahead, Taeradun took Bobert close to him and activated his immediate area shields. The armor's shields are taken damage from each time they hit the ground.

Aekes and Chapula were still inside the tavern but extremely close to the door. As the planet already spinned once or twice, Aekes did fall a few times inside the tavern but manage to hold himself on the exit door. Alas tiny Chapula was more hurt and was much more easily carried away, losing sause and such and looking less tasty.

Although Aekes became his savior as Chapula was about to fall outside through the tavern's exit door and Aekes manage to catch Chapula with his mouth, Aekes resisted the urge to eat Chapula alive as he was tasting good with him half inside his mouth with the sauce dripping inside Aekes' mouth.

Steven Roads just managed to hold himself on the bartender's counter. If it was easy to hold himself there, it was all the wine bottles flying there and there broking everywhere that he had to masterfully avoid. A few of them broke on him but he was only hurt a bit in the end.

Eventually the planet did stop spinning but ...

Chapter 2.7 : Doackmobile on full speed!!!

Doack intended to avoid the doomsday he created for the planet. Life is full of irony as instead of evading it painlessly, the planet is still CHARGING TOWARDS his battleship due from the force of the shockwave. Ultimately, he and his friends were much more in danger than the planet's habitants truly are.

Dr.Nosebone was the only one in front of the battleship's controls and saw what was happening but he still didn't know any of the buttons. He didn't even know which button to make a ship announcement to call the others as Doack and Chris Hanson were still interrogating Arveleg in the back of the ship. Zilla was drinking with the patrons as the ship got their own supply of beer and wine.

So Dr.Nosebone did the obvious : push random buttons. It was better than just dying in about 20 seconds as the planet was charging so quickly that he would never had the time to warn the others and come back before the planet crushes the battleship to pieces.

One of the buttons was to fire all of the ship's lasers aimlessly hitting nothing important and draining quite a bit of the ship's energy. After, he hit another button and it ejected one of the ship's main system batteries out of three.

Finally he saw a lever, it was at 100% and it could be dragged up and down from 0% to 500%. Dr.Nosebone felt he had to do something as only 10 seconds remaining before the deadly impact. Thus he drag it up to 500%.

Suddenly, Dr.Nosebone lost its balance and flies way back in the wall back of the control room.

He finally did something right as the engines were going at 500% speed. The maximum speed possible without instant meltdown of the ship although the severity of that speed would make the ship meltdown in 30 minutes which is less worse than dying in 10 seconds. However, the ship was flying in a straight path away from the planet, matching same speed of the planet's and any angle change in course will likely make the planet hit the ship.

Meanwhile, from the sudden change in ship speed, everyone else did flies back into a wall into their own rooms. In the interrogation room, it also happened to all three persons inside it. Doack and Chris Hanson were wandering what was going on and rushed to the control room and now knew the dire situation from Dr.Nosebone.

How will the Doackmobile escape their fate?

Meanwhile the planet at least stopped spinning and everyone else is at least somewhat alright.

ACTION> SHOVE A SMALL STAR INTO ZILLA'S ASS AND USE HIM TO STOP THE PLANET

Holy shit ricky, and I was here thinking we were making shit complicated for you. Way to make sense of it all and then add some more crap. +1 win to ricky. Also

> Pause
> Save