Game : Random Adventures

[Ricky_Honejasi]

"Gosh darnit!" KING FUCKIN' DOACK exclaims to his various phased selfs.

Instantly, one of Doack's phased selfs appears inside the bunker beside Chris Hansen.

"LOL STOLE YOUR MOJO" he exclaims as he reaches outwards with a rusty cheese grater.

Elsewhere, back in the secret underground base, the other KING FUCKIN' DOACK brings out a remote completely riddled in giant imposing red buttons.

"Let'see how they deal with this!" He exclaims, pressing the button to release a fleet of flying sharks with lasers on their heads. The sharks are sent after the intruding party as the ANAL RANGER prepares its ascent by rapidly vibrating.

Chris Hansen just suffered the worst a man could have as the rusty cheese grater cut his mojo in a horrible painful way. Hansen screams in pain like a madman. Protoss Nursery just replaced his lost mojo for a small urinal hole forcing him to go to the toilet the girl way.

Back to Doack's underground base, Doack unleashes flying sharks with metal-like headsets that shoots lasers against the good guys.

Aekes was almost done destroying the cloning chamber but he had to avoid and hide from the sharks' laser attacks. He clearly can't finish off the cloning chamber if the sharks continually shoot towards him.

Doctor Nosebone's virility (has 69 of stats) somehow draws all the lolis running towards him like if they wanted him as a boyfriend. However, they get shot one after another in their backs from the sharks trying to shot Dr.Nosebone. As the loli "meat shields" just ran out, Dr.Nosebone is in the direct way of the sharks for shooting him.

Chalupa is now just dancing again from another set of enemy fire. Except it's shark's lasers instead of lolis' fire guns.

Taeradun activate its Immortal Shields. The shark's lasers aren't strong enough for the Immortal Shields' true damage reduction to kick in but the shields are nonetheless strong enough so he can think of his next move while he is getting shot.

Meanwhile, the ANAL RANGER is now starting to ascent ...

Chalupa : Chalupa chucks randomly acquired dildo at ANAL RANGER, hoping for some positive result.

Chalupa pulls on a string of lettuce, with some strange writing on it, apparently a spell chart. He attempts to locate if any new useful spells were acquiring by leveling up

Chalupa threw the dildo at the ANAL RANGER but the ANAL RANGER's vibration was easily more powerful than the dildo's and thus the dildo was knocked next to Chalupa and he took it back.

Chalupa now checks on a string of lettuce in hope to see any new spells. There are so many writings but Chalupa can surely understand the following spells and skills :

Chalupa Seduce - Charm other with yummy looks. Must not look disgusting some way or another for it to be any effective.
Chalupa Body Weapons (Passive) - Its various body parts can be "shot" at something in addition of having a better capacity of growing new temporally "food weapons" (ex : Hot Pepper during Bobert's fight)
Chalupa Regrow (Passive) - Like a human regrows hair, Chalupa regrows its food body over time (new lettace, in-body nutriments, etc.) Doesn't effect health regeneration.

Arveleg sighed and put down his book and quickly finished his cup of tea.

"If it's not one thing it's another." grumbled Arveleg as he repacked his gear and left his house, "I'd better go and deal with this before the forces of evil storm my backyard and eat all my begonias again."

The mage boarded his Pie Piece Ship and took off towards the nearest source of evil, KING FUCKIN' DOACK's Secret Underground Bunker on Earth.

Arveleg arrives in the middle of the carnage in Doack's secret underground base by his Pie Piece Ship. There are flying sharks shotting lasers everywhere, there is Doack trying to do things against this battle's heroes : Aekes, Chalupa, Taeradun and Doctor Nosebone.

Arveleg opens his spellbook and will probably cast a spell of some sort. He also remembers that he did gain 25 emergency Scorpy rations, 1 big bag, Anal Ripper EXTREME (super melee dildo-like weapon), Scorpy Captain Pistol XXIX (mini-missiles, heat-seeking, Scorpy questionable design) and a Scorpy Grenade "Toy" (similar to real thing, Scorpy questionable design) when he searched his pie piece ship back then.

[IskatuMesk]

"Direct our Cheese Shells at the facility!" KING FUCKIN' DOACK tells to his crew as his phased self returns, mojo in hand, blood dripping around the bridge.

"Excellent." KING FUCKIN' DOACK mutters.

The Cheese Shells onboard the ANAL RANGER are directed towards the underground facility as the earth opens up to reveal the massive ANAL RANGER that takes to the skies. Cheese Shells fire immensely super-compressed cheese torpedos that, once explode, will cover the entire planet in molten cheese.

"One lost facility is a small price to pay... for REVENGE!" KING FUCKIN' DOACK yells as he thrusts the mangled mojo into the air triumphantly.

[Lavarinth]

"These spells are useless" cries Chalupa. Chalupa performs the most he can. Realizing he regenerates his delicious body, he grabs wads of meat, sour cream, and anything else heavy and begins to throw at KING FUCKIN' DOACK's remote, hoping to make an incredible mess, leading a disgusted reaction by KING FUCKIN' DOACK where he drops the controller, causing all onwards armies to run unconrolled "Junkyard Dog" style.

[Aekenon]

(EDITED AFTER SOME CONFUSION)

Aekes was pinned down.  But, though he was rather exhausted from his earlier actions, he knew he couldn't chance letting the cloning machine remain intact, as it still posed a possible threat to Chalupa and his newfound allies.  Summoning up a moment of bravery (or stupidity), he decides to throw caution to the wind and emerge from his hiding spot.  He readies his swords again and seeks out the damaged core, knowing that he would easily be able to finish it off before the sharks could react.

Now whether he could safely escape their wrath afterwards was another matter...

[Thalraxal]

Arveleg, unsure of which weapon would do the most damage, opted to throw the Scorpy Grenade "Toy" at the largest cluster of Laser-Mounted Flying Sharks.

[IskatuMesk]

lav > I'm not even there anymore...

[Lavarinth]

Isk > wtf!! DAMN PHASING TRICKERY!

With the ability to regenerate his delicious ingredients, Chalupa raises up after having lost most of his internals, and makes his way to Aekes. "Imma pull you outta here, vato," he screams over the explosion of Scorpy Grenade "Toy." He starts to push Aekes with some unknown power, rolling him behind a mangle of freshly dead Laser-Mounted Flying Sharks. In his exhaustion, he takes a breather.

[Rocco]

Has magically obtained the power to spawn any weapon he wants in front of him.
/Make a Laser Assault Rifle that makes big booms on impact.
/Shoot(AND HIT) the Chalupa into a smoking pile of meat and sauce.
/Shoot the letters GG. into the ground.
/Return to his shack he built.

[wibod]

ITT: The majority of people don't know how to roleplay and not metagame.

[Milldawg]

SECRETLY, Doctor Nosebone had scoured the zerg Hive after being rescued by Taeradun, looking for the corpse of his beloved zergling friend Melissa. Using the knowledge acquired from his loli/zerg hybrid experiments, he constructed a Dragoon-like shell for Melissa's body, except it was shaped like a giant loli. Melissa, now resurrected as a Lolgoon, was there all along, hiding in the cloaking field of the arbiter. She suddenly joins the battle and activates PHASE DISRUPTORS which sort of disrupt Doack's phasing but mostly just make everyone slightly uncomfortable. Still, she manages to phase a partial copy of herself into the universe, and follows Doack's phase trail to the SUPER WEAPON.  There she lies in wait...

[Ricky_Honejasi]

Arveleg, unsure of which weapon would do the most damage, opted to throw the Scorpy Grenade "Toy" at the largest cluster of Laser-Mounted Flying Sharks.

Arveleg threw the Scorpy Grenade "Toy" at the largest cluster of sharks. It ended up that the largest cluster of sharks were close to the cloning chamber thus it was easily two birds one stone to Arveleg's mentality.

As always, Scorpy technology never works the way you would expect it to be ... The grenade's explosion was clearly more powerful that it would probably be. Completely oblitaring the cloning chamber and the sharks it was. Somehow the explosion was more "vertical" for some twisted, touching considerably the below hull of ANAL RANGER even piercing its shields. However, the ship was far from being damaged enough to go down.

The explosion blast did make everyone flies at the walls of the base. Aekes became unconscious since he was the closest to the blast thus flew much harder into the wall.

Arveleg lost item : Scorpy Grenade "Toy".

Aekes :
Aekes was pinned down.  But, though he was rather exhausted from his earlier actions, he knew he couldn't chance letting the cloning machine remain intact, as it still posed a possible threat to Chalupa and his newfound allies.  Summoning up a moment of bravery (or stupidity), he decides to throw caution to the wind and emerge from his hiding spot.  He readies his swords again and seeks out the damaged core, knowing that he would easily be able to finish it off before the sharks could react.

Now whether he could safely escape their wrath afterwards was another matter...

Aekes intend to finish the job although he had to wait for a good opportunity to do it. Meanwhile, Arveleg already threw the grenade finishing his job in the end. Aekes became unconscious after flying too much into the wall due to the grenade's blast.

Bobert : Has magically obtained the power to spawn any weapon he wants in front of him.
/Make a Laser Assault Rifle that makes big booms on impact.
/Shoot(AND HIT) the Chalupa into a smoking pile of meat and sauce.
/Shoot the letters GG. into the ground.
/Return to his shack he built.

Bobert did wish he had magic but he simply doesn't have any magical capabilities.

However, he knew that he could rig his Colt .45 into unsafe limits allowing to shoot much faster at the risk of permanently scrapping his gun.

Then he goes back into Doack's underground base, he heard one heck of an explosion then he noticed everyone on the walls. He notices Chalupa and decides to take advantage of the situation as Chalupa was somewhat knock back and was still recovering.

An unmoving target is an easy target as Bobert shot Chalupa to death and shots the letters GG next to him.

Chalupa is now a ghost, he sees in ghostly colors and is hovering over his body. Similar to Zilla's case, he can't really affect the physical world but he can be visible to the mortal world and be heard.

Then Bobert starts running towards the exit but the others finally recovered from their wall hits and noticed Bobert and what happened to Chalupa ...

Chalupa is now dead and is a ghost hovering over his body.

EDIT :

Doack : "Direct our Cheese Shells at the facility!" KING FUCKIN' DOACK tells to his crew as his phased self returns, mojo in hand, blood dripping around the bridge.

"Excellent." KING FUCKIN' DOACK mutters.

The Cheese Shells onboard the ANAL RANGER are directed towards the underground facility as the earth opens up to reveal the massive ANAL RANGER that takes to the skies. Cheese Shells fire immensely super-compressed cheese torpedos that, once explode, will cover the entire planet in molten cheese.

"One lost facility is a small price to pay... for REVENGE!" KING FUCKIN' DOACK yells as he thrusts the mangled mojo into the air triumphantly.

Lots of Cheese Shells were shot from the ship although most of them got blown up by the grenade's explosion making a lot of burned out pitch-black cheese. Some of the shells got exploded on the below part of the ship giving it a new overall "look" to the ANAL RANGER.

A few Cheese Shells did hit the Earth (but not the underground base), covering a few places with molten cheese but it's far from managing to cover the entire planet with it.

Doctor Nosebone : SECRETLY, Doctor Nosebone had scoured the zerg Hive after being rescued by Taeradun, looking for the corpse of his beloved zergling friend Melissa. Using the knowledge acquired from his loli/zerg hybrid experiments, he constructed a Dragoon-like shell for Melissa's body, except it was shaped like a giant loli. Melissa, now resurrected as a Lolgoon, was there all along, hiding in the cloaking field of the arbiter. She suddenly joins the battle and activates PHASE DISRUPTORS which sort of disrupt Doack's phasing but mostly just make everyone slightly uncomfortable. Still, she manages to phase a partial copy of herself into the universe, and follows Doack's phase trail to the SUPER WEAPON.  There she lies in wait...

And it happened except the disruption of Doack's phase wasn't good enough to "keep" him in the secret underground base but fortunately good enough to follow him to the SUPER WEAPON.

[Ricky_Honejasi]

ITT: The majority of people don't know how to roleplay and not metagame.

Well, to me roleplaying is more or less optional for this game as it's letting a story goes inane.

Although must I presume that you got bored since it became metagaming instead of roleplaying?

[Anonymous]

it's THE ULTIMATE WEAPON not SUPER WEAPON geez get it right


KING FUCKIN' DOACK's flagship continues to ascend upwards.

"Damage report!" the evil master demands. An aid screams in a high-pitched squeel as he flails around the room slapping crew into replying to his master's demand with a gigantic clipboard. After breaking numerous clipboards over the faces of lackies who were too slow to respond he returns.

"There is cheese covering our shields." the Aid begins. "One of the washroom toilets flooded and drowned several crew members in a horribly disfiguring and demoralizing fashion. There is 4,592 e-mails that were transferred to our network from HORZ-4-U.com. There is also potentially a subspace pocket containing enough quantum energy to destroy the entire galaxy stuck inside the ensign's anal cavity."

"Oh." KING FUCKIN' DOACK /facepalmed as his ship left orbit. "Activate the base's self-destruct."

[Lavarinth]

Chalupa wonders if any scrap of him is left to regenerate.

[Milldawg]

Melissa's partial fusing with Doack allows her to learn of his plan, and she realizes that she must warn Nosebone and his companions. When she was resurrected as a Loligoon, she gained partial psionic capabilities, but they were not quite like those of the protoss. Taeradun and his ilk are ably to convey their thoughts directly into each others' minds, but Melissa can only transmit messages in garbled leetspeak. Her mind flails outward, hoping to contact Taeradun, whose psionic capabilities are known to be legendary. WILL TAERADUN BE ABLE TO INTERPRET HER WARNING AND EVACUATE THE BASE BEFORE DOACK BLOWS IT UP?