Anxiety Attacks and What They Can Do for You

[IskatuMesk]

I'd just like to express my distaste for two-week long anxiety/panic attacks that cause considerable physical pain from consistently tensed muscles and stress, which gives me a constant numbing pain in my chest randomly accented by very sharp stabbing sensations, and similar feelings in my head along with a sensation of heavy weight. But most of all, they are totally fucking my ability to think straight and I am starting to blame TOA's lack of progress exclusively on anxiety attacks because of how horribly awful they are.

Doctor gave me ativan which... does nothing.
Doctor gave me Wellbutrin which... also does nothing.
Doctor gave me random shit like fish oil, flaxseed, ect... which also does nothing.

I am distraught.

That is all.

[Archangel]

If it makes you feel any better, in Irridium Consequence, I am captain of the Ativans.

My buddy has severe anxiety. He prescribed his own self constant reading and the History Channel.

[IskatuMesk]

Unfortunately my condition has reached the point where I can't consistently do anything. It's a shocking miracle I've been able to make so many sc2 videos. Reading, watching tv, even playing games are things I just can't focus on - and these attacks are largely to blame.

/emo

[tipereth]

I know you hate hate hate hate drugs, but have you considered cannabis as a possible alleviator? I know some people who use it legitimately for anxiety and swear by it. Ask your doctor about it, at the very least.

EDIT: It could also possibly make it a whole lot worse so it's a real crapshoot.

[IskatuMesk]

yeah no

Plus I'm not exactly a rich gangster

[Negi]

Have you considered seeing a real doctor?  What you've just described kinda sounds like diabetes to me.

Or some other kind of serious illness.

[IskatuMesk]

Yeah. This is a real doctor. Mental health jumped ship on me, and their other divisions didn't want to have anything to do with me either.

[AA7Dragoon]

I'll be praying, buddy.

[Xelxiuz]

Yeah. This is a real doctor. Mental health jumped ship on me, and their other divisions didn't want to have anything to do with me either.

Where do you live?

[Taeradun]

I had an anxiety attack on a bus once, good times

[Legion]

I'd just like to express my distaste for two-week long anxiety/panic attacks that cause considerable physical pain from consistently tensed muscles and stress, which gives me a constant numbing pain in my chest randomly accented by very sharp stabbing sensations, and similar feelings in my head along with a sensation of heavy weight. But most of all, they are totally fucking my ability to think straight and I am starting to blame TOA's lack of progress exclusively on anxiety attacks because of how horribly awful they are.

Doctor gave me ativan which... does nothing.
Doctor gave me Wellbutrin which... also does nothing.
Doctor gave me random shit like fish oil, flaxseed, ect... which also does nothing.

I am distraught.

That is all.

Man. I'm surprised doctors can get away with this kind of non-treatment. Please don't take this the wrong way, but do you have any distractions? I mean, I know you've sworn off pretty much all earthly pleasures, but it seems to me like *one* of your problems is isolation. The fact that your mods and your writing is so important to you tells me that you're constantly focused on one single aspect of your life. I realize you're suffering from chemical imbalance, and there's probably no way to ever overcome it, but have you ever stepped outside of this fantasy life?

I guess what I'm trying to say/ask is - have you ever tried to take control of your life instead of having other people and things do it?

[IskatuMesk]

Legion > Been asked this question many times. First off, it's not a chemical imbalance - it's genetics and corrupted blood (bad bloodline, parents who abused alcohol/drugs which is one of the reasons why I can't stand people who take drinking lightly). If it were chemical imbalances then the drugs would do something, right? Because that's what they target. Unfortunately the reality is that I'm just simply brain damaged and will never recover.

I don't really have any choice in how my life plays out, either. I've already posted on why nothing can or will change, we've been down that road many times. I would like to say that modding and writing are the single focuses of my life but you know what? I haven't been able to focus on either of those for over five years long enough to call them a part of my life anymore.

At the very least I just wish the anxiety attacks would stop. But they won't. It's going to make doing some stuff for people very, very difficult. And if a mdx to m3 converter does come out and I am to try sc2 modding, I'm going to have to at least learn C. Which isn't the toughest thing I've set myself against, it's just going to not happen in the way I am right now. Now, what I plan to learn C for... that is what's going to be tough (AI).

Everything is a state of mind. Everything is tied to the tranquility and stability of inner motion. I was stable until the whole tonsillitis bullshit came up, then the shock of stress broke everything down and motion came into a slow-motion trainwreck complete with girly screaming and burning.

Also, I've been drinking de-caff coffee for like 3-4 years now. I'd like to say I have consistent sleep, but it isn't. I've taking melatonin which has made it better than what it was before but if something disrupts me I'll never get back to sleep. It doesn't seem how long or how short I sleep, I'm always completely exhausted and can't keep my eyes open. You probably hear me yawning a lot in the sc2 videos -

...

This render has over 100 frames left.

Yeah I'm going back to sleep.

I know this post just seems like another whine but I mean constantly feeling this tensity in your chest and head along with the other shit is getting old. Believe me, I've tried the whole exercise routine and shit but I gave up on that now.

Xel -> Canada, land of the mentally ignorant

Also I'd just like to say that people have a habit of messaging me only when I put an away message up, and never if I just leave aim alone and go to sleep with no away message. It's like moth attractant.

Like literally, the same minute I wake up, the anxiety returns. I'm not even out of bed before my chest is hurting again and the back of my head feels congested and heavy.

[Xelxiuz]

Canada isn't mentally ignorant. Canada's poor. In every single aspect besides land. So yes, mentally poor. But not mentally ignorant.

Can't afford to be mentally ignorant. Just like how we can't afford to take on Africa if all of a sudden a giant bridge connected us there, because we'd run out of ammunition and then get overrun by spears and aids.

But where in Canada?

Also, you should try just not drinking coffee, it's not exactly the healthiest thing in the world no matter what kind it is.

[IskatuMesk]

BC.

Canada doesn't really acknowledge mental health as being a serious issue. We have a mental health division, but they usually just jump ship at the slightest provocation of something requiring effort. They didn't even put time into giving me an official diagnosis, just that I have traits of schizophrenia and high-functioning autism. After that they said "well we don't can't do anything about that" (y'know, their brochour is like WE HANDLE PSYCHOSIS IE SCHIZOPHRENIA AND AUTISM) and tried to ship me off to some other place who were like "fuk dat" so they just broke contact right after they said they were going to handle my drugs and that was that. Got referred to psychiatrist, here I am. But I think he grossly underestimates the severity of these problems. And I'm not exactly in a state of mind where I can even describe what it is I feel.

I think it's my time to jump ship because it seems to me my exhaustion and tiredness only became a monumental issue after my drug dosages started getting massively increased.

wouldn't it be awesome if I could animate because I mean I got some nice models from SgtHK and stuff but I can't do anything with them

[imgwh 640x345]http://img21.imageshack.us/img21/5595/beecee2.jpg[/imgwh]

[Legion]

I don't really have any choice in how my life plays out, either. I've already posted on why nothing can or will change, we've been down that road many times. I would like to say that modding and writing are the single focuses of my life but you know what? I haven't been able to focus on either of those for over five years long enough to call them a part of my life anymore.

At the very least I just wish the anxiety attacks would stop. But they won't. It's going to make doing some stuff for people very, very difficult. And if a mdx to m3 converter does come out and I am to try sc2 modding, I'm going to have to at least learn C. Which isn't the toughest thing I've set myself against, it's just going to not happen in the way I am right now. Now, what I plan to learn C for... that is what's going to be tough (AI).

Everything is a state of mind. Everything is tied to the tranquility and stability of inner motion. I was stable until the whole tonsillitis bullshit came up, then the shock of stress broke everything down and motion came into a slow-motion trainwreck complete with girly screaming and burning.

Also, I've been drinking de-caff coffee for like 3-4 years now. I'd like to say I have consistent sleep, but it isn't. I've taking melatonin which has made it better than what it was before but if something disrupts me I'll never get back to sleep. It doesn't seem how long or how short I sleep, I'm always completely exhausted and can't keep my eyes open. You probably hear me yawning a lot in the sc2 videos -

What's good about your situation is you *know* what is wrong with you. A former friend of mine is schizofrenic, but there were times he would deny it to the point where he called everyone a liar, requested second opinions constantly, and locked himself in his room with nothing but his music. He alienated most of his hometown friends, but when he finally accepted the fact that something was wrong with him, things started to look up (if such a thing can be said about someone in that situation).

What I'm trying to say is that you do possess the power to control parts of your life, because you're not denying anything. I don't know you very well, but I know you're not stupid. You're witty and intelligent and you probably would be very creative if your mind didn't stray. I say 'would be' because you continue to dismiss your work, and an artist never dismisses his work without reason. Truth be told, you've only shown us incomplete mods, a novel that's constantly undergoing change, and completely written-out ideas... But they all remain ideas, a start of a dream. It's a lot more than any of us could ever do, but it's a lot less than what you're capable of.

If that makes any sense.