The Zeji Spoof (A parody of Vision of the Future by Razorclaw X)
Posted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 5:48 pm
Wait a minute. A lich's lackey making a spoof of some famous guy? WTF H4X- ~head asplodes~ Err, anyway, this is a spoof of Razorclaw X's Vision of the Future series which, I might add, is freaking awesome. WARNING: The insanity of this spoof may cause your head to explode. WARNING: Reading this warning will cause your head to explode. ~reader's head explodes~
Enjoy!
Somewhere, in deep space...
Arestes: Wheeeeeee! ~blasting random stuff~
Marine in a Squid: Oh my god, he's whacked- ~boom~
Peppy (from Star Fox 64): Do a barrel roll! ~boom~
Rain Mirnimane (JYAP's Scythe guy): DIEDIEDIE! ~inflicts several billion critical hits on Arestes~
Arestes: Eeep! ~flees in Tiamat~
Zeji Warrior: We're ready to go to warp, sir.
Arestes: Snap out of it! We'll make it, you'll see!
Zeji Warrior: But-
Arestes: We are? Then let's warp, dammit!
The Tiamat warps out. Meanwhile, on Planet Bob...
Ranma: Why the heck am I on this backwater planet when Razorclaw X could have something better to do with me-
Corg: FOR THE REGIS!
Suddenly, a huge Invid swarm from Robotech stampedes and stops in front of Ranma.
Tatewaki Kuno: I, Tatewaki Kuno, offer- ~gunned down by several Odeon Drones~
Ranma grabs Tatewaki's Bokken (Japanese Wooden Sword) and beats the crap out of Corg with it.
Corg: Toss, what the hell are you doing? I'm supposed to be freaking good!
Me: So is Ranma. But since I know nothing about Ranma 1/2 besides what I've read in Razorclaw X's fanfics...~makes Corg freaking powerful~
Corg knocks Ranma around the world and back with an uppercut. Poor Ranma.
JYAP: Wait, Toss is winning? I gotta help!
JYAP raises an undead army and proceeds to crush Toss's Invid with it.
Back in another section of Deep Space...
Corg: So you're just gonna abandon me like tha- ~head asplodes~
Back in another section of Deep Spac-
JYAP: I thought you were my frie- ~gets hit with a bludgeon~
Sheesh, I just can't let go of you guys, can I? Anyway, back in another section of...screw it.
The Nemesis has just blasted 3 buffed-up BCs with just 3 shots.
Ace Tarpals: HACKS! You're all using hacks! Is no one innocent these days?!
Chaladar: I'm not using hacks...~hides Map Hack behind back~
Kabala: Ph34r me, ph00ls!
ATLAS: Warning: Cannot comprehend 1337 5p33k. DOES NOT COMPUTE- ~asplodes~
Xaax: Why are we blasting BCs?
Kabala: Because I want to.
Xaax: Sweet, good reason.
Ace Tarpals: No it isn't- ~shot down~ Oh ****! Ejecting now!
Kabala and Xaax hi-five. The Nemesis leaves Back in Another Section of Space for no real reason.
Chaladar: What about me...?
Quiet you.
Xaax: So we blew up the enemy base. Now what?
Kabala: Dunno. Wanna go blow up Ziktofel's base?
Xaax: Sure.
Meanwhile, at Ziktofel's base...
Hhallahh: GAH! GET THEM OUT OF MY HEAD!!!
Ziktofel: What is it, Hhallahh?
Imorih: En taro Adun, Executor-
Hhallahh: THE PIE! I can't stop seeing PIE!
Ziktofel: Pie is good, Hhallahh. Join the pie side of the force.
Hhallahh: NO! I WILL NOT SIDE WITH PIE!
Kurdrac: Join the pie.
Kizrath: Join the pie.
Imorih: What say you?
Chaladar: Don't join the pie!
Everyone looks at him. An awkward silence lasts for 5 seconds.
Chaladar: Hooray! I'm being noticed!
Ziktofel: You're no different from the original campaign...
Hhallahh: OH NOES! A FLASHBACK OF PIE!
FLASHBACK...
Zargil: HA! You are too late, Xaax! I have used Chaladar to create an alternate timeline!
Chaladar: Hooray! I'm helping!
...KCABHSALF
Hhallahh: Hmm...all this talk of pie makes me hungry. What's for lunch?
Ziktofel: Pie.
Hhallahh: OH NOES! PIE! RUNAWAY!
Hhallahh flies off into that one cave where he saw Anubis where he encounters Tipereth.
Hhallahh: Tipereth?
Tipereth: Listen to me, Hhallahh. Whatever you do, do NOT give into pie...
Hhallahh: Aren't you supposed to be dead?
Tipereth: I am?
Hhallahh: Yeah.
Tipereth: No I'm not.
Hhallahh: Yeah you are. You were killed by the Overmind Nymph.
Tipereth: Then how come I'm still- ~poof, he's gone~
Hhallahh: That was wierd...
But this is wierder!
JYAP: ~covered in green Invid blood~ That we're still living?
Quiet you. Anyway...
Arestes: Lalala...
Suddenly, the Crimson Rhapsody flies like a fireball into Arestes Tiamat.
Arestes: YOU FOOLS! This ship is indestructible! It has 50 Armor!
Kabala: That was for blowing it up, ph00l!
ATLAS (repaired): Warning: Cannot comprehend 1337 5p33k. DOES NOT COMPUTE- ~asplodes~
Xaax: I thought we were gonna attack Ziktofel!
Kabala: This is much cooler though.
Xaax: Fine! I'll attack Ziktofel myself!
Kabala: Good luck with that.
Xaax: And take the Nemesis and its crew with me!
Kabala: ...eh...this is getting wierd...
Back at Planet Bob...
Undead bones, Inorganic parts, & green blood/biomaterial from those parts lie strewn on the ground, yet Corg & Ranma are still fighting.
Corg: You shall not defeat the Regis!
Ranma: Who's the Regis?
Corg: If I told you that, I would have to kill you!
Ranma: Aren't you gonna kill me anyway?
Corg: YES!
Ranma: So it wouldn't matter if you told me.
Corg: Yes it would, because then I would have to kill you!
Ranma: You're gonna kill me anyway though.
Corg: That is so you may not challenge the Regis!
Ranma: Um...you're making no sense. Right now you're gonna kill me to protect the Regis and if you told me who she is-
Corg: YOU FIGURED OUR HER GENDER! DIE!
Suddenly, the Black Dream comes out of orbit.
Chaladar: I've never flown this ship before. I wonder what this button does...? ~presses the Fire button~
The Phase Disruptor cannon fires and Corg & Ranma get obliterated. Chaladar presses it a few more times, obliterating Arestes, Kabala, Xaax-
Xaax: WTF H4X
-Kuwadora, Amukasier, Akane Tendo, Rick Hunter, the SDF-1, & all the characters used in this strange excuse for a spoof.
Chaladar: Hooray! I helped end this spoof!
Fin.
So what'ja think?
Razorclaw X: HOLY CRAP! An abomination to all that is Ranma 1/2! Get him, Tatewaki!
Tatewaki Kuno's beheaded corpse falls on Toss.
Razorclaw X: WTF?
On the rooftop where he fell...
Chaladar: Hooray! I helped the author!
Disclaimer: No offense to any forum members. This was created just to make your head explode- I mean, to make you laugh and was in no way biased against a particular forum member.
Enjoy!
Somewhere, in deep space...
Arestes: Wheeeeeee! ~blasting random stuff~
Marine in a Squid: Oh my god, he's whacked- ~boom~
Peppy (from Star Fox 64): Do a barrel roll! ~boom~
Rain Mirnimane (JYAP's Scythe guy): DIEDIEDIE! ~inflicts several billion critical hits on Arestes~
Arestes: Eeep! ~flees in Tiamat~
Zeji Warrior: We're ready to go to warp, sir.
Arestes: Snap out of it! We'll make it, you'll see!
Zeji Warrior: But-
Arestes: We are? Then let's warp, dammit!
The Tiamat warps out. Meanwhile, on Planet Bob...
Ranma: Why the heck am I on this backwater planet when Razorclaw X could have something better to do with me-
Corg: FOR THE REGIS!
Suddenly, a huge Invid swarm from Robotech stampedes and stops in front of Ranma.
Tatewaki Kuno: I, Tatewaki Kuno, offer- ~gunned down by several Odeon Drones~
Ranma grabs Tatewaki's Bokken (Japanese Wooden Sword) and beats the crap out of Corg with it.
Corg: Toss, what the hell are you doing? I'm supposed to be freaking good!
Me: So is Ranma. But since I know nothing about Ranma 1/2 besides what I've read in Razorclaw X's fanfics...~makes Corg freaking powerful~
Corg knocks Ranma around the world and back with an uppercut. Poor Ranma.
JYAP: Wait, Toss is winning? I gotta help!
JYAP raises an undead army and proceeds to crush Toss's Invid with it.
Back in another section of Deep Space...
Corg: So you're just gonna abandon me like tha- ~head asplodes~
Back in another section of Deep Spac-
JYAP: I thought you were my frie- ~gets hit with a bludgeon~
Sheesh, I just can't let go of you guys, can I? Anyway, back in another section of...screw it.
The Nemesis has just blasted 3 buffed-up BCs with just 3 shots.
Ace Tarpals: HACKS! You're all using hacks! Is no one innocent these days?!
Chaladar: I'm not using hacks...~hides Map Hack behind back~
Kabala: Ph34r me, ph00ls!
ATLAS: Warning: Cannot comprehend 1337 5p33k. DOES NOT COMPUTE- ~asplodes~
Xaax: Why are we blasting BCs?
Kabala: Because I want to.
Xaax: Sweet, good reason.
Ace Tarpals: No it isn't- ~shot down~ Oh ****! Ejecting now!
Kabala and Xaax hi-five. The Nemesis leaves Back in Another Section of Space for no real reason.
Chaladar: What about me...?
Quiet you.
Xaax: So we blew up the enemy base. Now what?
Kabala: Dunno. Wanna go blow up Ziktofel's base?
Xaax: Sure.
Meanwhile, at Ziktofel's base...
Hhallahh: GAH! GET THEM OUT OF MY HEAD!!!
Ziktofel: What is it, Hhallahh?
Imorih: En taro Adun, Executor-
Hhallahh: THE PIE! I can't stop seeing PIE!
Ziktofel: Pie is good, Hhallahh. Join the pie side of the force.
Hhallahh: NO! I WILL NOT SIDE WITH PIE!
Kurdrac: Join the pie.
Kizrath: Join the pie.
Imorih: What say you?
Chaladar: Don't join the pie!
Everyone looks at him. An awkward silence lasts for 5 seconds.
Chaladar: Hooray! I'm being noticed!
Ziktofel: You're no different from the original campaign...
Hhallahh: OH NOES! A FLASHBACK OF PIE!
FLASHBACK...
Zargil: HA! You are too late, Xaax! I have used Chaladar to create an alternate timeline!
Chaladar: Hooray! I'm helping!
...KCABHSALF
Hhallahh: Hmm...all this talk of pie makes me hungry. What's for lunch?
Ziktofel: Pie.
Hhallahh: OH NOES! PIE! RUNAWAY!
Hhallahh flies off into that one cave where he saw Anubis where he encounters Tipereth.
Hhallahh: Tipereth?
Tipereth: Listen to me, Hhallahh. Whatever you do, do NOT give into pie...
Hhallahh: Aren't you supposed to be dead?
Tipereth: I am?
Hhallahh: Yeah.
Tipereth: No I'm not.
Hhallahh: Yeah you are. You were killed by the Overmind Nymph.
Tipereth: Then how come I'm still- ~poof, he's gone~
Hhallahh: That was wierd...
But this is wierder!
JYAP: ~covered in green Invid blood~ That we're still living?
Quiet you. Anyway...
Arestes: Lalala...
Suddenly, the Crimson Rhapsody flies like a fireball into Arestes Tiamat.
Arestes: YOU FOOLS! This ship is indestructible! It has 50 Armor!
Kabala: That was for blowing it up, ph00l!
ATLAS (repaired): Warning: Cannot comprehend 1337 5p33k. DOES NOT COMPUTE- ~asplodes~
Xaax: I thought we were gonna attack Ziktofel!
Kabala: This is much cooler though.
Xaax: Fine! I'll attack Ziktofel myself!
Kabala: Good luck with that.
Xaax: And take the Nemesis and its crew with me!
Kabala: ...eh...this is getting wierd...
Back at Planet Bob...
Undead bones, Inorganic parts, & green blood/biomaterial from those parts lie strewn on the ground, yet Corg & Ranma are still fighting.
Corg: You shall not defeat the Regis!
Ranma: Who's the Regis?
Corg: If I told you that, I would have to kill you!
Ranma: Aren't you gonna kill me anyway?
Corg: YES!
Ranma: So it wouldn't matter if you told me.
Corg: Yes it would, because then I would have to kill you!
Ranma: You're gonna kill me anyway though.
Corg: That is so you may not challenge the Regis!
Ranma: Um...you're making no sense. Right now you're gonna kill me to protect the Regis and if you told me who she is-
Corg: YOU FIGURED OUR HER GENDER! DIE!
Suddenly, the Black Dream comes out of orbit.
Chaladar: I've never flown this ship before. I wonder what this button does...? ~presses the Fire button~
The Phase Disruptor cannon fires and Corg & Ranma get obliterated. Chaladar presses it a few more times, obliterating Arestes, Kabala, Xaax-
Xaax: WTF H4X
-Kuwadora, Amukasier, Akane Tendo, Rick Hunter, the SDF-1, & all the characters used in this strange excuse for a spoof.
Chaladar: Hooray! I helped end this spoof!
Fin.
So what'ja think?
Razorclaw X: HOLY CRAP! An abomination to all that is Ranma 1/2! Get him, Tatewaki!
Tatewaki Kuno's beheaded corpse falls on Toss.
Razorclaw X: WTF?
On the rooftop where he fell...
Chaladar: Hooray! I helped the author!
Disclaimer: No offense to any forum members. This was created just to make your head explode- I mean, to make you laugh and was in no way biased against a particular forum member.