Campaign Creations

Jim_Raynor wrote: Update

Download!!

Click on that thingy and download the campaign!!!

Remember, the file size is HUGE.

I have tested it, it takes 40 minutes to download on a decent high speed connection. I'll make a light version soon. Maybe a hard version?

Really?  It only took me 2 minutes... LoL

Jim, you planning to put up a light version? That'd be awesome.

Dem0nS1ayer wrote:

Jim_Raynor wrote: Update

Download!!

Click on that thingy and download the campaign!!!

Remember, the file size is HUGE.

I have tested it, it takes 40 minutes to download on a decent high speed connection. I'll make a light version soon. Maybe a hard version?

Really?  It only took me 2 minutes... LoL

Um... I don't know why.

GnaReffotsirk wrote: Jim, you planning to put up a light version? That'd be awesome.

Yep. Pretty soon I think.

thebrowncloud wrote:

Jim_Raynor wrote:

Well I could fix that, but if you lose the heroes in that time, wouldn't that be kinda mean to the player? Right about to win: Yah'zar has been killed. You have failed to achieve victory!

Set all heroes to invincible once the objectives have been achieved. or, if its a dialogue that doesnt require the player to see unit actions (i havent played it yet. still working on my own project) then u can center the player view wherever it needs to be and pause the game

Nah, it's okay how it is. I hope you all like my campaign!

Critical Aspects

-> YES - Campaign's storyline is between Starcraft 1 and Starcraft 2.

Comments related to the direct scoring

===TEXT
-> + Grammar is passable overall
-> + Text properly formatted for reading
-> + Text sometimes modified properly to fit the characters' speech.
-> - Many typos for this campaign's global length of text
-> - Blizzard characters' dialogs often don't feel like them

==PROFESSIONAL
-> + Okay thread updates (A bit lacking in text but has screenshots)
-> + Have a proper credits section including with complete list of music and their authors
-> + Some extra sounds are added and played although quite a few seems added for the sake of it

==TRIGGERING
-> + Fairly basic triggering but functional
-> + Some use of switches and locations
-> - Serious lack of "Center View" for the first and second sub-campaigns.
-> - One critical bug (likely to happen if the player have a habit to control everything they can)

==MAPPING - LAYOUT

-> + The layout seems good overall.
-> + Had no trouble maneuvering the maps
-> - Have a tendancy to make maps bigger than it should be often leading to "useless" terrain.

==MAPPING - BEAUTY

-> + Okay overall (looks okay but can look often rushed and plain)
-> - Some doodads were put but lacks doodads in general
-> - Doodads are often placed at locations where the player won't look at all.

===Brownie Points
Note : This doesn't influence directly the scores but might improve it

-> + First version released 1 week before schedule
-> + Custom music (although it might feel unfitting at times)
-> + Some additional minor things to fit in official storyline above the minimum requirements.
-> + The author has clearly improved himself in some aspects in the third sub-campaign

===Drawbacks (outside the score system)

-> A bit too many Build & Destroy missions
-> A Blizzard character dies and then come back like almost nothing happened

===INDIVIDUAL MAPS=====

GENERAL

Global bug : In most maps, the heroes can be killed by the player's troops without a defeat screen. However, if they get killed by enemy troops, it triggers the defeat screen.

Note : As a general thumb of rule, the typos are from top to bottom in terms of triggers' transmissions and such.


SUB-CAMPAIGN # 1 MAP #1

Complain : In the briefing's objectives, it should say "Press Start" since most players are used to either a briefing or a mission title then a briefing. Otherwise, people wonders if the briefing will start soon.

Odd : Feels odd that Artanis comes "all the way" just to say basically that he will liberate and then go away.

Odd : In the victory screen, it looks that one force is named but the other isn't.

Typo (Mission) : "Entaro Adun" instead of "En taro Adun"
Typo (Mission) : "bretheren" instead of "brethren"



SUB-CAMPAIGN # 1 MAP #2

Odd : It looks that Artanis worries about Mi'Shuras and doesn't give any clue why. In addition, it seems unjustified for his position to worry about one of his subordinates over petty-looking reasons.

Complain : One of red's photon cannon starts unpowered (caught by seeing the AI building a pylon next to it).

Complain : Original mission objective is too vague for progress. It might imply having every building possible or something to move on with the story while it requires to kill an enemy DT to do so.

Complain : Can be too easy to kill Nishar by "accident" since he is closer to the frontline and he is pretty much one dark templar out of many. No confirmation messages, just a straight victory.

Typo (Mission) : "rebbellion" instead of "rebellion"



SUB-CAMPAIGN # 1 MAP #3

Complain : Feels unnecessary long to see the ships and shuttles go all the way to their location. Probably should have been best to give shuttles the speed upgrades as well.

Complain : Due to the delays before the trigger orders the units into the base, they can be re-ordered by the player thus not taking over the base as intended.

Suggestion : For the above complain, I recommand letting the ordered units to allied AIs and then give to the player when they reach their final location.

Complain : Artanis give pretty much a very bad excuse concerning Mi'Shuras about why he doesn't want her to come (considering it's war and they likely have leader/important positions)

Complain : The ties between Artanis and Mi'Shuras should have been precised earlier rather than "out of nowhere" in mid-conversation.

Typo (Mission) : "Shuttle" instead "Shuttles" when it is multiple of them logically would be referenced to.
Typo (Mission) : "Entaro Adun" instead of "En taro Adun"


SUB-CAMPAIGN # 1 MAP #4

Complain : It should NOT be mentionned that your campaign is following canon. If it's supposed to for a contest, it's an unspoken rule to not mention in the campaign.

Complain : When making cinematics, it implies that you must do the necessary to make it view-friendly for your audience rather than telling them to adapt (by selecting Artanis and following around) in the briefing.

Complain : You wonder why Artanis went into a clearly useless and suicidal mission.



SUB-CAMPAIGN # 1 MAP #5

Issue : Some rescuable units in base aren't pre-rescued requiring manual rescue to use them.

Critical : The purple shuttle (after battle) should NOT be controllable else it might be re-directed in mid-flight thus preventing to finish the mission if the player doesn't know where to move it.

Complain : Shuttle depart should be much closer to minimize unnecessary delay watching the purple shuttle reach its destination.

Bug : A player that send any unit (flying probably) in battle will trigger the trigger normally started when the purple shuttle in after-battle would at its arrival.

Complain : Artanis pop ups out of nowhere when logically he couldn't survive the Zerg in all likelihood.

Note : For above complain, Artanis should at least tell the excuse that he teleported out of his ship to another ship far away for it to be any passable.

Typo (Mission) : "sacraficed" instead of "sacrificed"



SUB-CAMPAIGN # 1 MAP #6

Complain : Lacks a "Press Start" message or the text should stay still to keep the same style of "static" briefing of other maps.

Typo (Mission) : "Entaro Adun" instead of "En taro Adun"



SUB-CAMPAIGN # 1 MAP #7

Complain : Logically, while Yah'zar's death would hurt Protoss morale, it shouldn't make Artanis decide to prevent all Protoss from leaving.



SUB-CAMPAIGN #2 MAP #1

Praise : Nice little "psychopath" speech with the right short pieces of music clearly played at the right spots.



SUB-CAMPAIGN #2 MAP #2

Complain : Long walk from beginning base to "new" base that could have been shorten.

Complain : Unnecessary magma cross. In addition, there could be a single trip since Ryuuthn could fit into the overlord along with the drones technically.

Complain : Too much time wasted manually destroying yellow's base when story-wise it could have been give away or having a much larger force to destroy it quickly.

Typo (Map Name) : "Begginnings" instead of "Beginnings"
Typo (Mission) : "Begginnings" instead of "Beginnings"
Typo (Objectives) : "Begginnings" instead of "Beginnings"
Typo (Mission) : "fing" instead of "find"
Typo (Mission) : "Kerrigans" instead of "Kerrigan's"



SUB-CAMPAIGN #2 MAP #3

Complain : Seriously wonders why "Revenge" in the briefing is in multiple colors.

Suggestion : Despite the unlikelihood, Ryuuth should be invincible to prevent an accidental death in such cinematic.




SUB-CAMPAIGN #2 MAP #4

Complain : The music in this map REALLY doesn't fit at all regardless of how I interpret it.

Issue : Should have a 10 minutes countdown instead of having to guess how much time left.

Bug : Similar to the generic bug concerning heroes, the egg's death by your troops won't trigger a defeat.

Issue : Researching Adrenal Glands is impossible since it requires on a hive which requires an unbuildable queen's nest.

Typo (Mission) : "stonger" instead of "stronger"



SUB-CAMPAIGN #2 MAP #6

Praise : Even if it is very basic, some cinematic battle for a change.

Complain : However, the battle does drag way too long and probably should have some "battle dialog" to make it more interresting.

Complain : Somehow Kerrigan just vanishes after Tardonis shows up for no good reason.

Typo (Map Name, Mission, Objectives) : "Tardonis Fall" instead of "Tardonis' Fall" or "Tardonis Falls"



SUB-CAMPAIGN #3 MAP #1

Praise : Clearly some skill improvement from the author's side. Center View is actually much more used and the right sounds are more often used at the right times in sub-campaign three (terran).

Praise : Nice to see a Terrazine tank just fit EXACTLY so it looks the crane holds it.

Typo (Mission) : "finnaly" instead of "finally" (1st Horace's phrase)
Typo (Mission) : "immediatly" instead of "immediately"
Typo (Mission) : "corectly" instead of "correctly"
Typo (Mission) : "immidiatly" instead of "immediately"
Typo (Mission) : "exeriment" instead of "experiment"
Typo (Mission) : "extirminator" instead of "exterminator"
Typo (Mission) : "expirement" instead of "experiment"


SUB-CAMPAIGN #3 MAP #2

Praise : Some nice rebellion speech with some justified voice speech.

Praise : Much more interesting speech overall with the right music.

Complain : More "locked" door messages might have been nice.

Complain : Doors should probably be opened right away when you reach a new data disk.

Complain : Might feel a bit pointless to run there and there to find the various disks just to unlock doors. Preferably add some text messages of some other information to help keep player's interest at least.

Odd : Can look odd if a marine speaks at the end if you no longer have any marine left.

Typo (Mission) : "lets" instead of "let's"
Typo (Mission) : "pasword" instead of "password"



SUB-CAMPAIGN #3 MAP #3

Suggestion : Mission objective change should occur when one of the scepters would be seen rather than when you kill the first one (since some players might end up massing wraiths destroying the base and ignoring them)

Typo (Mission) : "idots" instead of "idiots"
Typo (Mission) : "geneticly" instead of "genetically"



SUB-CAMPAIGN #3 MAP #4

Issue : CPU marines close to bunkers should be going into bunkers

Complain : The scepters just go in a straight line in mass quantity towards "your" CC totally leaving the sides intact. It's even more odd when even more of them just go in line when their enemy line is cleared of buildings.

Typo (Mission) : "specters" instead of "specters'" AND "increased" instead of "increases" in "The specters numbers increased quickly." (refering to the present)
Typo (Mission) : "lets" instead of "let's"
Typo (Mission) : "specter" instead of "specters" (when it should be plural)



SUB-CAMPAIGN #3 MAP #5

Praise : A minor boss battle for a change.

Issue : Game menu's mission objectives aren't updated and can look odd when seen.

Typo (Mission) : "tranmisson" instead of "transmission"



SUB-CAMPAIGN #3 MAP #6

Odd : Looks ridiculous that Mengsk would not care more about the scepters' disapperance.

Typo (Mission) : "dissapearing" instead of "disappearing"
Typo (Mission) : "you" instead of "your" in "you experiements"
Typo (Mission) : "reccomend" instead of "recommend"
Typo (Mission) : "immidiate" instead of "immediate"
Typo (Mission) : "specteres" instead of "specters"
Typo (Mission) : "immediatly" instead of "immediately"
Typo (Mission) : "reccomend" instead of "recommend"
Typo (Mission) : "Thats" instead of "That's"
Typo (Mission) : "Lets" instead of "Let's"
Typo (Mission) : "Sqaudron" instead of "Squadron"



SUB-CAMPAIGN #3 MAP #7

Praise : A very complete list of music and from which game or author.

Suggestion : The beta tester should probably be mentioned before the very long list of music credits.

Typo (Mission) : "specteres" instead of "specters"

Well, since my internet can't stay alive long enough for me to download Laconius' 2nd map, I am moving to your campaign. I will be sure to write a review of it as well. I'm curious to see what you did with Project Shadowblade. 

Okay, so I'm gonna do the reviews after I finish each of your sub-campaigns

Protoss:

So one big thing I like about this one is the plot twists with Artanis. I won't say any of them as to not spoil it for others, but you know what I'm talking about  .
However, I don't think you expand on them nearly enough. As soon as they happen, their kinda shrugged off and are immediately in the past.

Also, the protoss rebellion in the beginning was a neat idea (reminds me of the Artanis arc in my project, actually). This, however, I also feel like you don't expand enough on. For example, Nishar was only in the first mission and then he is gone for good. 

On the subject of characters, I like your variety of characters and some of the concepts you touch on. Some of my favorites are the fact that Mi'Shuras is a dark templar (or seemingly so, since her master is one) and Artanis is not. Also, like I said during production, I liked the concept of an intelligent hydralisk like the Mercenaries missions. However, I feel like you don't give nearly enough character development for any of your characters. It's kinda like they are there and then they are gone without having learned anything about them.

A big thing that bugged me about this campaign is that there are no briefings. That means no context for any of the missions. I never knew where I was (well, obviously Shakuras and a planet that I assume is Aiur, but still) or why I was doing what I was doing.

Alot of these problems I listed are mostly because your campaign feels rushed or unfinished. You're off to a good start, you just cut alot of things short when there was much room to expand them.

Zerg:

Like I said before, I love the idea of having a zerg strain lower than a cerebrate taking control of their own force. Ryuuthn is a unique character compared to many many others in this contest. However, again, I think you cut it a little short on the character development. All of Ryuuthn's was in the very beginning when he decides he is done being Kerrigan's servant. After that, he just proceeds to build his power and fights back against Kerrigan and Tardonis (eventually). Kerrigan has no character development at all, but she doesn't really need it; she is such a well-defined character already. A personal spin on her on your part would have been nice, though. And I can understand that Tardonis is upset, but his relationship with Yah'zar is so hazy that his cause for being there is barely defined.

For a while, you actually had me worried on a few parts with this campaign for a few reasons. One reason is I wasn't sure whether or not Taldarin would be killed. Considering that Blizzard has told us all attempts by outside parties to scout Char have failed and any visitors never returned. The other was that I thought you were going to have Ryuuthn kill Kerrigan. Considering he had such distaste for her and she was within his grasp, I don't know why he wouldn't, but you nearly took a kick in the pants with how far you were in dangerous waters (in terms of lore, I mean  ).

Also, Ryuuthn metamorphosis to get even stronger seemd a little too..... spontaneous. He was just like "Oh, I'll chill here, wrap myself up in an egg, and get stronger." I'm all for changing character's stats mid-game, but there was no reason for how he got stronger except that he wanted to.

One thing that I noticed in this campaign, and even some of the previous one is your choice in music. A large portion of it seems to be from the Mega Man series (at least one of them being from the Battle Network branch). Boy, that sure brings back memories.... I miss those games. I also liked your choice in picking a song from the Matrix. The anime song you had playing when Artanis came back at the end of the protoss campaign cracked me up!  Good song, though. What anime is that from?

Just like the previous campaign; you're on the right track, but I just get the sense that this campaign isn't finished.

And I am going to have to agree with Ricky that your maps are often WAY too big for the prupose they are to serve. Not that they look bad; on the contrary, they look quite nice. However, I think they are just way too big. I find my units having to do too much walking and not enough killin'. 

Terran:

Spoiler

Wel, it appears that my fears about Tardonis were correct 
Oh well, not that big of a deal. However, I am now quite confused, since he was not a dark templar, yet you put him in a stalker. Meh, another minor detail. The Fist of Ulrezaj was supposed to be all dark templar, yet they had zealots, dragoons, and even high templar, so I think Tardonis being a DT zealot could be explained away.

Anyway, again, I felt like this campaign was really under developed. It is clear that Carl Dawson and the rest of Alpha Squadron are anti-Dominion "terrorists", but why are they where they are? And, for that matter, where are they? I assume it is Mar Sara cause Jack Kael was there and the only known terrazine refinery is there as well. I do like how you decided to even make the topic of spectres the subject of your campaign, though. Since we know very little about them, it was a very bold choice and I like what you've done so far. This campaign, however, was easier than the others. Like, alot easier. The first mission had barely any guys to kill, just lots and lots of backtracking. The second mission was so easy that I beat it with my starting force (thanks to CD's cloaking for killing all the spectres). Don't get me wrong, I think you're off to a great start for all three of these campaigns. I think you just need to expand on them significantly. Try making something (or remaking this) for a while and try to make it as good as you think you can make it. After you think you can do no more to make it better, release it and see what you get. You have alot of potential, I just think you need to take advantage of it. 

thebrowncloud wrote: Okay, so I'm gonna do the reviews after I finish each of your sub-campaigns

Protoss:

So one big thing I like about this one is the plot twists with Artanis. I won't say any of them as to not spoil it for others, but you know what I'm talking about  .
However, I don't think you expand on them nearly enough. As soon as they happen, their kinda shrugged off and are immediately in the past.

Also, the protoss rebellion in the beginning was a neat idea (reminds me of the Artanis arc in my project, actually). This, however, I also feel like you don't expand enough on. For example, Nishar was only in the first mission and then he is gone for good. 

On the subject of characters, I like your variety of characters and some of the concepts you touch on. Some of my favorites are the fact that Mi'Shuras is a dark templar (or seemingly so, since her master is one) and Artanis is not. Also, like I said during production, I liked the concept of an intelligent hydralisk like the Mercenaries missions. However, I feel like you don't give nearly enough character development for any of your characters. It's kinda like they are there and then they are gone without having learned anything about them.

A big thing that bugged me about this campaign is that there are no briefings. That means no context for any of the missions. I never knew where I was (well, obviously Shakuras and a planet that I assume is Aiur, but still) or why I was doing what I was doing.

Alot of these problems I listed are mostly because your campaign feels rushed or unfinished. You're off to a good start, you just cut alot of things short when there was much room to expand them.

Zerg:

Like I said before, I love the idea of having a zerg strain lower than a cerebrate taking control of their own force. Ryuuthn is a unique character compared to many many others in this contest. However, again, I think you cut it a little short on the character development. All of Ryuuthn's was in the very beginning when he decides he is done being Kerrigan's servant. After that, he just proceeds to build his power and fights back against Kerrigan and Tardonis (eventually). Kerrigan has no character development at all, but she doesn't really need it; she is such a well-defined character already. A personal spin on her on your part would have been nice, though. And I can understand that Tardonis is upset, but his relationship with Yah'zar is so hazy that his cause for being there is barely defined.

For a while, you actually had me worried on a few parts with this campaign for a few reasons. One reason is I wasn't sure whether or not Taldarin would be killed. Considering that Blizzard has told us all attempts by outside parties to scout Char have failed and any visitors never returned. The other was that I thought you were going to have Ryuuthn kill Kerrigan. Considering he had such distaste for her and she was within his grasp, I don't know why he wouldn't, but you nearly took a kick in the pants with how far you were in dangerous waters (in terms of lore, I mean  ).

Also, Ryuuthn metamorphosis to get even stronger seemd a little too..... spontaneous. He was just like "Oh, I'll chill here, wrap myself up in an egg, and get stronger." I'm all for changing character's stats mid-game, but there was no reason for how he got stronger except that he wanted to.

One thing that I noticed in this campaign, and even some of the previous one is your choice in music. A large portion of it seems to be from the Mega Man series (at least one of them being from the Battle Network branch). Boy, that sure brings back memories.... I miss those games. I also liked your choice in picking a song from the Matrix. The anime song you had playing when Artanis came back at the end of the protoss campaign cracked me up!  Good song, though. What anime is that from?

Just like the previous campaign; you're on the right track, but I just get the sense that this campaign isn't finished.

And I am going to have to agree with Ricky that your maps are often WAY too big for the prupose they are to serve. Not that they look bad; on the contrary, they look quite nice. However, I think they are just way too big. I find my units having to do too much walking and not enough killin'. 

Terran:

Wel, it appears that my fears about Tardonis were correct 
Oh well, not that big of a deal. However, I am now quite confused, since he was not a dark templar, yet you put him in a stalker. Meh, another minor detail. The Fist of Ulrezaj was supposed to be all dark templar, yet they had zealots, dragoons, and even high templar, so I think Tardonis being a DT zealot could be explained away.[/spoiler]
Anyway, again, I felt like this campaign was really under developed. It is clear that Carl Dawson and the rest of Alpha Squadron are anti-Dominion "terrorists", but why are they where they are? And, for that matter, where are they? I assume it is Mar Sara cause Jack Kael was there and the only known terrazine refinery is there as well. I do like how you decided to even make the topic of spectres the subject of your campaign, though. Since we know very little about them, it was a very bold choice and I like what you've done so far. This campaign, however, was easier than the others. Like, alot easier. The first mission had barely any guys to kill, just lots and lots of backtracking. The second mission was so easy that I beat it with my starting force (thanks to CD's cloaking for killing all the spectres). Don't get me wrong, I think you're off to a great start for all three of these campaigns. I think you just need to expand on them significantly. Try making something (or remaking this) for a while and try to make it as good as you think you can make it. After you think you can do no more to make it better, release it and see what you get. You have alot of potential, I just think you need to take advantage of it. 

Thank you very, very much for your review!

Protoss:

Yes, there were many things I could have expanded on. The problem was the WHOLE last week I was at camp, so I had to budget my time a bit.

Nishar... was originally going to have another mission, but it was cut out do to lack of time.

Character development well I think I could have done that better.

Okay:
Me hate briefings + me hate making briefings = no briefings. Don't worry, I like them now!

Zerg:

I swam in some VERY dangerous waters alright, but I managed to get out.

The only way Tardonis reached Char is because Kerrigan was so distracted with Ryuuthn that she didn't notice Tardonis coming in.

Well Ryuuthn needed to get stronger, what with two powerful enemies now.

I love the Megaman games! Especially the Battle Network series! As for the matrix song... I don't know which that is ... The Anime song was called Over Soul and was in Shaman King. (It was the Japanese title song.)

Terran

Spoiler

Whoops. Did I say Stalker? Doh doh doh doh doh. I meant Immortal. (thank you, you saved me from having lots of trouble with the (hoped) SC2 sequel.

Umm... I don't know what planet they are on!     (I am angry at me.)

Thank you very much again. I might remake this campaign, and I hope so.