Chair Aznable shudders as he realizes what is going on. He is safely on board the ASTROCOCK, but he felt a presence of incomprehensible evil upon this ship...
Right now, Chair Aznable, also known as his disguise and alter-ego Quattro Vagina, lies in wait to recollect just what the fuck happened moments before... The secret identity of Chair Aznable, Quattro Vagina, is a cosplaying, cross-dressing glassed nigger panty-thief of a black man, a perfect facade for him to secretly serve the great steef, a man after God's own heart...
Legends have spoken of Quattro, for that for thousands of years people have come to believe that Quattro, he is a Chair. Indeed, Quattro is once a chair at the office, destined to be sit upon by hundreds of intern's unwashed ass for the rest of eternity... That is until one day, when Chair went three times faster than a Tony his existence was forever twisted. For no man, no chair has ever went faster than a Tony, not three times faster... Surely he has been possessed by a great evil that has squandered the lands ever since the birth of time: The legs of the Jay Wilson. And in that deciding moment, Chair croaked instantly much to Jay Wilson's dismay, and was reborn like a phoenix, transcending into a astounding black man forged from black oil.
He who is the second coming of the Jay Wilson, a Cyber Nigger-Tights embedded with Wilson's very thoughts and memories... He has sworn to the 42 Gods and Goddesses who have brought about Jay Wilson that one day, one holy day in God's name, he will use the lewd power of the ASTROCOCK's Apple produce to create the dream of the future, a vision like no other of an Activision Blizzard co-prosperity sphere... A world without tax and congressman, a world where capitalists can run free sucking the lard out of interns and gullible casuals, much to Iskatumesk's dismay...
In order to set this into motion, Quattro did tried to challenge the ASTROCOCK's defenses just moments before, but his attempt was shoe-horned by the menacing interference of Ricky Honejasi, the French man who leaps through time. For he who is the great descendant of a legendary hero Rick Flair, he can never allowed the ASTROCOCK to fall into the wrong hands...
Ricky Honejasi bent time and space around Chair during the battle against Professor Snape, forcing Chair's HYPER-WEAPON to turned into nothing more than a meager teleporter beam, which failed to pierce the heavens, hell, and the Void. Even his prized G.U.N.D.A.M. was turned it into nothing more than a cheap Chinese knock-off... too Chinese to be used...
The events at ASTROCOCK never had happened the ways it meant to be, and it never was...
Before Chair can continues his attempts to steal the ASTROCOCK, he must first find a way to rid of this abomination of France, either through the sharp end of a rusty shank, through pleading The Lardy One an offering of soul for protection, or simply to become the nigger who leaps through time himself, he must rid of this French man, one way or another...
For that, Chair first must returns to his home in Amerika (
) to visit his Waifu, for she has been festering a secret plan, a plan so manly, so daring, no man has ever thought of touching it with a 40 foot pole...
Chair's home in Amerika, a two floors apartment shaped like New Jersey city, is a peaceful place full of the occasional panty-thieves... It has been long since he last visited his Waifu in Amerika, so he is planning to give to her a gift, a casket of gasoline to arson the place...
But before he could set this plan to motion, standing in the front yard of his home in Amerika, he noticed a fine Tony docked neatly in his lawn. He remembered that the Ricky Honejasi also fielded Tonies, and it brings a chill down his tights.
“fufufufu... So you finally came”
The voice of a chaste evil came behind Chair, a wild loli cat girl appears, the creature, a neko loli-kun-tan-sama-san-midget-cum bucket-500 yen each, is the so called universe's master race...
"You can never defeat my oni-sama! My oni-sama will correct reality over and over again until you are nothing but a fine point!"
“Neko loli-kun-tan-sama-cum bucket-500 yen each, why do you think I'd be afraid of you?” - Chair asked.
“...fufu...”
But for Chair's innocence as a black negro god of war, he did not expect such great evil to be lurking inside the beast...
A HYPER-WEAPON emerges from the underbelly of the beast, a thick black rod of the ages forged from the panties that made up the ASTROCOCK. A rod so roddy, it requires Iskatumesk's goatee to guide it towards the heavens. Surely, such a devastating weapon has been sent here to put an end to this legendary nigger...
“IT'S A TRAP!” - Chair screams in his own mind.
Indeed. He has fallen into a trap, a devious trap, a trap loli's devious trap... For he to have left his guard down, he fears he is loosing his edge. His rounded edges...
But at that decisive moment, Chair suddenly realize the weakness of the loli catgirl, for even the dazzling French aliens has yet to fully perfect their greatest creation...
It's weakness is little sister eroge.
In a blink of an eye, Chair whips out a little sister eroge, shapes like a boomerang. He threw it across the atmosphere at speed so great, it's contact with the trap loli causes the dreaded Third Impact, the prophesied Awakening of the Third Steef...
But the battle has yet to be over, from the sky above Chair, a thousand Tonies descended down towards him in the shape of a tremendous, searing enema... Chair skillfully dodges this attack by executing a black flip into the COCK-pit of his I-pad V, a mobile suite Mac product suitable for use in casual situations...
Even though he is unscathed, now Chair is overwhelmed by a thousand neko loli-kun-tan-sama-san-midget-cum bucket-500 yen each that emerges from the Tonies. Chair has only one chance of executing a daring man-neuver that can save him now.
This man-neuver, which he practiced along with a hermit living on top of mount Suribachi, a panty-thief guru who taught him the secret ways of the American panty-thievery, is a man-neuver so secret, so dangerous and mystical, it was stowed away forever in ancient scrolls deep inside the gullet of Bill Ropar, never to be seen again.
...This choreographic dance have never once be attempted to be described by words, as words can never truly comprehend it's sheer inanity.
The Ipad V suddenly moves at hyperspeed, executing this motion at speed so great, God can never amasses enough anime directors to crafts this motion... And so all the mortal's eyes can see is a blur as the loli-catgirls been stripped of their magical undergarments... They all instantly croaked...
Unfortunately, this technique, even with it's power, still was not enough to truly defeat the loli catgirl army. From the pile of fermenting dead lolies that has now clogged his front yard, still three remains to Chair's dismay...
Their survival was easy to justify, as their leader, Louise Françoise Le Blanc de La Vallière, appears to have been trained the ways of Chris Metzen. For that she is the master of THE VOID, PROPHETCY, and dark, DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARK magic... Surely for a Billiard's intern to have been cooperating with the Ricky, he has vastly underestimated his connections.
But for all of Noboru Yamaguchi's top notch, quality Blizzard cliches to have fallen into Chair's ears, it was all a facade to hide an attempt to man handle Chair in the rear... A ominous loli silently approaches his mobile suite from the six o' COCKS position...
It is the Flame-Haired Blazing-Eyed Hunter, Shana, a flaming midget to end all flaming midget. To face this very day a flaming midget who have reached such notoriety all the way from No Man's Pants to Amerika, Chair felt very insecure from the waist down.
The midget did all a flaming midget ever did across the ages, she lid herself on fire with a casket of gasoline then charges towards Chair in a ball of fire... It is the Flaming Midget attack, the signature move that doomed the Pants Legion long, long ago...
But the flaming midget miscalculates, it accidentally tripped over cacti just moments before reaching Chair, instantly croaked... And so Chair's lawn was set on fire, and the sky turns manly hot pink by the effects of the Fuzetsu...
Seeing this opportunity, Chair again guides his eroge, shaped like a boomerang to strike at the Blizzard intern below so hard, it causes the Forth Impact, the Arrival of the Forth Steef...
And so Chair only have one more worry... But this one, the one final big bad that haunts the universe, is the magical girl founder of Ricky-ism of the third schism, a religion keen on achieving communism through instrumentality.
And so Chair was transported to a technicolor battlefield, filled with mind rape and lolipop. The magical girl, it's face reeks of evil suddenly grows wider.
It grows wider, wider, wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiider....
It has grown so wide, it eclipsed the ever expanding horizon, for it is manifesting the horizon to itself, and feat of a Goddess no doubt...
The Goddess magical girl now the ever expanding horizon bend time and space around Chair, hoping to repeat the feat of the menacing Ricky Honejasi. Even with Chair's preparations, for he has prepared his anus all the way to Amerika, for he had jammed such an ass-cork so tightly in place, for which any attempts to handle his rear will return instant death to those who attempts it... Even such manly of a preparation was not enough to block the will of Ricky-ism...
The manly hot pink horizon explodes into feces, as reality was warped beyond repair, Chair has walked through time back to the ASTROCOCK, right the moment he teleported into it's bridge
The completely random and inane event above never did happened, it never did...
Chair, felt hopeless that he cannot stop the Ricky Honejasi, begrudgingly accepts the French man's demands... For he knows that reality will be bent again, again, and again, until it suit's this abomination of France's needs...
