Zilla- wrote:
Why do you consider it the worst? For example I'd rather die than be permanently comatose. There are a bunch of things worse than death imo. Your logic is flawed.
lol chill out man.
i wasnt serious. but yeah i was expecting somebody to come up with either coma or horrible disease.
desler, id expect you to take my comment about death as a joke or at least not serious enough to write that reply!
you guys are taking things way too seriously. it's unhealthy.
Last edited by Legion on Fri Oct 09, 2009 3:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Zilla- wrote:
Why do you consider it the worst? For example I'd rather die than be permanently comatose. There are a bunch of things worse than death imo. Your logic is flawed.
lol chill out man.
i wasnt serious. but yeah i was expecting somebody to come up with either coma or horrible disease.
desler, id expect you to take my comment about death as a joke or at least not serious enough to write that reply!
you guys are taking things way too seriously. it's unhealthy.
Zilla- wrote:
Why do you consider it the worst? For example I'd rather die than be permanently comatose. There are a bunch of things worse than death imo. Your logic is flawed.
lol chill out man.
i wasnt serious. but yeah i was expecting somebody to come up with either coma or horrible disease.
desler, id expect you to take my comment about death as a joke or at least not serious enough to write that reply!
you guys are taking things way too seriously. it's unhealthy.
Please note some, if not all names have been changed. This isn't solely on my debt, this is actually a thorough point up to the end of my debt, since I somehow strongly believe all actions I did relate to causing this debt, such as going to the wrong relationship and so forth. It'll be a lengthy read by the end. I'll make a note as to when the debt part falls incase you rather skip to it, but it's not in this initial post.
My story is one of long twists and turns, and I will try my hardest to keep it t minimal as to not confuse people. My life burst into something entertaining around the age of 17. I began to play my first Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game at this age. It was Star Wars Galaxies. Originally, my cousin and I were walking into GameStop to purchase the expansion to Neverwinter Nights, and saw this game had recently released. The biggest mistake to fall into my life: Purchasing this game.
THE FANTASY RELATIONSHIP
The game was a great play for MMOs of that age. The most entertaining thing for my cousin and I and likely the one game I spent the most hours on that I can recall. Weeks passed as we partnered up as a duo; however I soon went off to do my own biddings as I enjoyed the construction and engineering aspect of the game much more than the action-packed lasers and pew pew's. I met up randomly with an individual who was likeminded while mining in the game one day- And he introduced me to a woman named Suzie. My first and only online "girlfriend." And low and behold the issues that arose.
When I met Suzie, she was married and with a child. Months after, issues arose in the relationship and another divorce was issued in this country. In the months prior, Suzie had teased me with questions as to "what if" and now the what if was a reality. I had turned 18 by this time, and our first phone call spanned the length of over twelve hours- Cute, no? Well, we hit it off great for whatever can happen through the phone and online. We spent a few months talking and getting to know each other and talking about futures. She knew the future well: It wouldn't work. I was oblivious, on the other hand. Eventually the phone calls seized, and I panicked. I bombarded her with calls daily to no response. Around two weeks later, she called me and informed me she couldn't take leading me on anymore and was going to give someone else local a try. (She had met local players, and a married couple who played knew a single local who also played.) This ended what I called the fantasy relationship.
FACE THE JURY
With my heartbreak, I mopped around for days, attempting strongly to hide such occurrences that my parents would never had understood in today's age of technology. Eventually, in a discussion with someone who is actually a part of this community, I was introduced to a site called FaceTheJury. Much like Xanga- It's long past its popular state. The site was essentially a site to meet new faces, and this was exactly what I did. The fist meet, with someone whose name I don't even recall did not go well. To sum this up: Her pictures depicted her some 30 pounds lighter. I sucked it up and spent the day with her, however, as she drove down over an hour to see me, then an additional 30 to our location of choice. That day was the last day I spoke to her.
As time passed, I was nearing graduation. I somehow had acquired the courage to ask the girl I crushed on in high school to go to prom with me and she accepted, as a friend. As I got closer to graduation, my activity on FaceTheJury rose, eventually leading me to meet a Beth, who introduced me to Sarah, the oddest character I have ever met. Fortunately for me, I had no means of an income at the time; otherwise I'm sure she would have attempted to acquire them. She was far too open for my first relationship in person. She stated the moment we sit down we must kiss, and that's exactly what happened. I spent around two months with her before her talk of drugs and such got the worst of me and I called it quits. I also told my prom date I was going with Sarah instead, and we sat in the lobby the whole night with her complaining.
THE FIRST ONE
She persisted however, and during her persistence I met a girl, whose name I also forgot, who I would speak to on occasion online. Eventually, one day, her cousin Ana got a hold of her IM account and messaged me to see who this was as it was left open and on her computer. She switched accounts and we started to talk, and realized we would both be attending grad night at the same location. Grad night for us in Southern California typically entails going to Disneyland to celebrate from around midnight to 6AM. Well, somewhere along the night at the Haunted Mansion we met in line. Honestly, this is a storybook meet up. It all worked out perfectly, for a year.
THE TRIAL
Promise rings and one year later, near our one year anniversary, I began to gain interest in another girl, Tina, who was actually part of a group of three friends consisting of myself, her, and Jon. We did everything together that I didn't do with Ana, or I did it twice. They were great people, and with that I began to fall for Tina in a light-hearted crush. My guilt told me to either drop it or test it. I opted to test it. Things seemed much better, in a shallow way: Heritage was similar, multiple languages were the same, parents enjoyed her at the house, etc.
I met Ana only a week before our one year and told her we had to go separate ways as a test. A break between our relationships for a few months was what I was asking, with there being no limitations. She did not want to agree but for the sake of us being back together in due time she did. Tina wanted nothing to do with me in this way. She cherished my friendship and upon discovering what I had done she demanded I return to Ana. My stubbornness told me otherwise and I remained single.
As time passed I met the only person I've come to be friends with off MySpace, Say. She was moving from the Mid-North to here on a whim and not looking for any sort of support other than friendships and perhaps a bit more, I became intrigued. Indeed she flew here, with nothing but 300 dollars to her name and a different friend to stay with. I met her on her second day here and we quickly established soon after the fact our friendship would relate to simple cases of kissing and a tad more. (She continues in the story later.)
At the same time in these months, my friend Jon was attempting to produce a short film, we were all art students after all, about a female rock star wanna-be and her band. He asked if I could either act or help in some way, I opted to be his assistant and produce it, to which he claimed I missed out at the chance of getting a free kiss from a scene from a girl.
Brian took the role I was supposed to have, to which I had no interest in. I recall the day of our first meeting; Jon was striving hard on the phone to inform Brian to be here on time to meet Elle, the star, as I walked outside to get some last things from my car. I saw this girl walking past who kept staring at me but I thought nothing of it other than she had a great body. I walked back into Jon's apartment and low-and-behold there was the mystery girl: Elle, staring at me in shock to see me in the room.
Our meeting went as planned, everyone introduced themselves, around eight of us, and we talked for around two hours before deciding to take a break. Upon our break, people were eating but I noticed Elle glance at me and go into Jon's room, where the computer was. For some reason or another, I'm a rather shy person but in moment of truth I will find the courage to do some great steps, and I followed her in. Apparently, this was what she was hoping for. We talked, and introduced each other and she mentioned she saw me outside and thought I was very attractive, but a shame that she was taken. I laughed, and again for some reason or another, I said what you don't know doesn't hurt. The talk continued and Brian showed up late, very late. Everyone left, eventually, and Jon said it appeared Brian won’t be getting a chance with Elle after all, I'll be.
I was lost, but later that night Elle and I spoke online, where she confronted the idea of friends with benefits and how she had always been curious yet not done it. The following morning, she called me to inform me she had broken up with her boyfriend, and if I was free later. We ended up hooking up, as thought, and as time passed made it a thing. Two weeks into it, she informs me she's in love with me, and in my shock I deny that I am to her and that she knew full well I would return to my ex.
As time passed, I admittedly informed Elle that I was falling for her, but to attempt to succumb to such a level of love that would inevitably be crushed, I thought of making herself and Say meet. Say was bi, Elle was curious. I thought it might work to separate them from me and keep them both happy. In the end my curiosity got the better of me and we somehow ended up in my room. You can see where this went. So, Elle, Say, and I became a trio of good friends who hung out together often, instead of allowing me to escape. Unfortunately, Say was the first to go as she gained interest in a guy who wished to date her, leaving my back to square one for a girl I already knew I had fallen madly for. The three month mark was approaching of separating with my ex, Ana, and this was the latest point I wished to get back with her. And I did.
REJECTION GALORE
I made a mistake. My biggest mistake at the time in my life. "You'll have me wrapped around your finger for the rest of your life," Elle said. I informed her I was doing what I said I would do out of the goodness of my heart and she was crushed. I got back with Ana, and Elle was out of the picture. I made a show of getting back with Ana, offered her to take her everywhere and do anything, insinuating I had the funds I truly didn't, considering I didn't even have a job. A few days later, Tina, Elle and I met and watched a movie, but Elle's depression over the situation caused her to want to leave. We instead all talked about heartbreak, and loveless. I confessed something seemed odd in my mind, something was wrong, but she didn't get the hint. We ended that night with Tina leaving, and after we gave each other a "goodbye kiss" in a surge of tears, which led to more in tears on her end, telling me she loved me and will miss me, and that she'll never get hurt like this again. It was at this point I realized who I truly wanted to be with.
The month of November was spent in complete denial in accepting Ana back into my life, although we were together. Near the end of the month, she confessed to having slept with someone else, and somehow for some reason I had a panic attack even though I had done the same. She accused me of it, even, stating we are equal, while for some reason I denied it stating we only kissed once after a concert we went to. We ended a few days later. The month of December was to be the most trivial in the year.
I spent the first two weeks attempting to make amends with Elle and have her accept me back, but little did I realize when she said she no longer wanted to be hurt, she meant by me. I tried for days (overall amount totaling years in the end) to get back with her, but November would mark the last and final month we were to be a secret couple. I left her a mark in her life by crafting a red rose dripping blue paint with a note attached detailing that this as my last try. The symbolism stated that she would forever be a dream of love I experienced and would never forget. She didn't accept my request to go back.
In my disappointment, I went to the second closest person, Ana. I strove to have her return to me, however she felt as if something was off as well. We would speak and she would quickly lose interest. One night at her work, she called me during lunch to inform me some random military personal had entered her job and asked to see her after work for a movie. I became amazingly jealous and informed her it sounded highly dangerous and that I was fully against it. She informed she was only telling me of the situation, not for my advice. The things I did that night... Will have to wait until I post the next piece.
That's playah lite right there, unless he's holding back. I wouldn't put that at playah status, more like normal status these days. Monogamous relationships seem to be a thing of the past - either that or I'm meeting the wrong people.
The Music of Squad 303 (Celestial Reverie Music by Joel Steudler)
I think to experience fun you need to live in central Europe for a year and have a British accent and a lot of spending power. Though you get bored of it after a while and can't be bothered, it is good...hmmmm
Negi: ask someone to explain themselves and they fail. Come up with some terms and some kind of maths behind it and explain what that makes them and they'll work out how they fit into the pattern.
Seriously if you asked people to explain their signs without knowing anything about it, almost none would be that accurate to the "proper" meanings. Whereas tell people what the sign means first and they'll come up with a thousand reasons on how that fits them.
However it can also be argued that these signs can have a positive impact on people in how they act on others. So who are we to judge?
