-Insert stuff Kao said. All of it. Yes, all of it!-
Or you could just be a pushover, someone who passively allows himself to be led around by the circumstances of his life, who has to find reasons to make himself feel better about that aspect of himself, something he might consider a weakness, by inventing reasons why it is ok. Don't take my comments personally, I don't have any evidence to back that up, just giving an example of what else it could be, assuming I actually knew more about you.
I'm not offended. You could be right, actually, based only on what I've told you. On the other hand, though, I don't actually understand your reasoning. I could be a pushover...why? Because I give money to others? I guess you could make that claim, if you assumed I was intimidated by them, or did it out of pity, or any number of other things were true. I've got plenty of weaknesses, believe you-me, but while I'd like to think I come across as mild-mannered, most of the time, I hardly think of myself as a 'pushover'. I could be, though. The most distorted lens to view the self through is one's own eyes.
I can probably say that the other side of the spectrum is correct for me. I like to, and demand to be in control. Take my previous example of my irresponsible friend who didn't pay me back. Because of that, I am willing to lose a friendship and withhold forgiveness in order to try to grasp that control, in an effort (most likely futile) to manipulate my former friend into paying me back the money he owes me. You would be able to grasp this if you looked at what kind of person I am based on the public information you do know about me. A man who made his own site and made all the important decisions for it for the time he was in charge. A man who at one time tried to shut this site down in an effort (another futile one) to control the opinion of another person. I'll gladly admit and acknowledge my weaknesses, but we can't just get rid of those things either, because they can also be a source of strength.
I've always valued friendships a little more highly than most of the people I knew. A little too highly, in fact, in my early years - back then, I was
a pushover. (I recall giving away large parts of a vast toy collection in an effort to court favor with other children, for instance, a plan which unsurprisingly failed miserably.) And I was not only a pushover, I was an antisocial pushover. So what friendships I did have were important to me. That still sort've holds true, at this point in my life, but I'm a lot more laid-back than I used to be. (Exposure to actual popularity and seeing oneself on television tends to put things in perspective, a little.) And I'd say we all like to have a bit of control in our lives. You just take that to what some might consider 'extremes'.
Because of my need for control, I left a sure thing (having my campaign on StarCraft Legacy, an established site with guaranteed promotion) to establish my own site. That ultimately resulted in a positive result, a great site with years of memories and fun. Its also that need for control that kept me from joining the work force and instead starting my own, albeit very small, business. That allows me to eat, have a nice house, all that good stuff. Another positive. If you knew this stuff about me, you could more easily manipulate me. Do something that takes away my control of a situation, and there is a good chance you'll see a predictable response. I'll most likely do something to try to regain control.
Psychoanalyzation is a fun hobby. You can learn a lot about yourself, others, and the human race in general. It's almost a spiritual practice to me, and it has helped me understand humans more.
I've always been fond of your works, and my opinion of you certainly doesn't suffer when I see you speaking so candidly (If a bit boastfully, but you certainly deserve to brag) about yourself. Congratulations on your small measure of success so far, and here's hoping you reach far greater heights, in the future. And, that you an' I never lock horns over control of an issue!
Magic wrote:...and apparently would chain her in her bed, she ran away, went through several boyfriends and experimented with medicinal drugs then talked about suicide a lot...
Yeah. The 'apparently' is the important thing, there. I try to treat claims on the internet the same way I'd treat claims made to my face, most of the time, but some of the more outlandish ones, even I'll be skeptical about. On the other hand, when seeking to understand someone, watching and understanding the things they focus on when they present themselves is an important handle to gaining insight on them. Whether they happen to be true, or not. There are examples that could be brought up by just about anyone here, I'm sure, where some of the most standard claims someone has made have turned out false, and some of the most impressive claims have turned out to be true. See Desler's reasoning on 'psychoanalyzation', above.
The vast majority of people go through some homosexual experience (even if just feelings) when growing up, especially in puberty. While religions may argue for what they believe is the purity of creation against 'abomination', I believe it's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.
I remember my father's reaction when I told him I wanted to have a boyfriend. He didn't hit me - I was actually very surprised, by the look on his face, that he refrained. He calmed down very quickly, though. He didn't spout off anything about it being 'wrong', 'immoral', or 'sinful', though I'm sure some (Hebrew) variant of those thoughts had some place in his mind. He just, very matter-of-factly, told me that I was too young to make that decision, yet. At the time, I really was. I'm rather glad I didn't push the issue.