Psychoanalyzing at its best.

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Re: Oh, god, I missed you guys.

Postby Kaoru » Tue Feb 26, 2008 7:03 am

Mr. wrote:I don't know about other people on the forums, but Rua did bring up suicide herself at times.  I still specifically remember talking to her on ICQ, I think, and she told me she was going to do it, and sent me a picture of a pile of pills she had.  So I started to kinda freak out.  I'm pretty sure that the pills she had were something that would have been relatively harmless, but of course, I had no idea at the time.

And Desler, to be fair, I think that she had a pretty good amount of emotional burden, dealing with an identity thing like that, especially with how little support she had.  I think she probably got through it all okay, though, and she's probably still around somewhere.  It would be nice to hear from her, just for confirmation of that, but I don't really expect it.

Kaoru, I will say that I have also had... somewhat similar experiences in the past, and I would consider myself to be pretty much the same.  I have found one guy, in the past, who I did really like, but none since.  And that is a story that I shan't recount in great detail, either, but it has nothing to do with time. :P  That's a story the internets don't get to hear.  And no, it did not involve buttsex, any other sex, or penises in general, before someone jumps in here and suggests as much.  It's just more personal than I'd like to share.  But my point is, I like girls, but I've got nothing against guys, either :P

[/personal-story hour]

Awww, personal story hour is over already? And here I was just about to share that story about my cat and the sprinkler system, and the rottweilers. (It's not what you think. Unless you actually own a cat, and understand their deviousness. Then, it probably is what you think.)
...So, do we restart the quote pyramid, now? I'm unsure of the proper CC forum etiquette in this situation.

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Re: Oh, god, I missed you guys.

Postby WB » Tue Feb 26, 2008 8:38 am

Wow AA7, that was such a gay move. *dies laughing*

I've got I think 2 gay friends ( i don't know, can bisexual folks be counted as gay if they prefer men? he always called himself both.) and 1 lesbian friend, lost contact with them all since HS though. I still remember being advised by parent to stay away from them and their mind-controlling gayness inducing friendship when a GLBT club started up at my HS. That was really funny.
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Re: Oh, god, I missed you guys.

Postby Marco » Tue Feb 26, 2008 10:28 am

Mr. wrote:I don't know about other people on the forums, but Rua did bring up suicide herself at times.  I still specifically remember talking to her on ICQ, I think, and she told me she was going to do it, and sent me a picture of a pile of pills she had.  So I started to kinda freak out.  I'm pretty sure that the pills she had were something that would have been relatively harmless, but of course, I had no idea at the time.

And Desler, to be fair, I think that she had a pretty good amount of emotional burden, dealing with an identity thing like that, especially with how little support she had.  I think she probably got through it all okay, though, and she's probably still around somewhere.  It would be nice to hear from her, just for confirmation of that, but I don't really expect it.

Kaoru, I will say that I have also had... somewhat similar experiences in the past, and I would consider myself to be pretty much the same.  I have found one guy, in the past, who I did really like, but none since.  And that is a story that I shan't recount in great detail, either, but it has nothing to do with time. :P  That's a story the internets don't get to hear.  And no, it did not involve buttsex, any other sex, or penises in general, before someone jumps in here and suggests as much.  It's just more personal than I'd like to share.  But my point is, I like girls, but I've got nothing against guys, either :P

[/personal-story hour]


He may still be alive but that kind of behavior is not normal, transvestite or otherwise.  I don't have a degree in psychology or anything, but it seems to me that when you can start toying with suicide threats to gain sympathy, you may become a little bit too comfortable with that idea and start to think that it really might be the answer.  I think the guy also had some real life issues too and probably did off himself, to be honest.  In any case, I doubt we will ever know if that really happened or not, and its best not to dwell on it.  Some people just have self destructive personalities.
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Re: Oh, god, I missed you guys.

Postby Kaoru » Tue Feb 26, 2008 11:35 am

Warbringer87 wrote:Wow AA7, that was such a gay move. *dies laughing*

I've got I think 2 gay friends ( i don't know, can bisexual folks be counted as gay if they prefer men? he always called himself both.) and 1 lesbian friend, lost contact with them all since HS though. I still remember being advised by parent to stay away from them and their mind-controlling gayness inducing friendship when a GLBT club started up at my HS. That was really funny.

I still remember the Gay-Straight Alliance club at my High School. I got in on it late, more out of curiousity than anything else, and we never really did much while I was there. A lot of the members were people who really surprised me, though, because I'd never considered the possibility that they weren't (Or were!) straight. Still, lots of good times. Also, one of the guys offered me a 'job, once, which was both flattering and frightening as a concept. (And no, I didn't take him up on it.)

Referencing Rua, though... I dunno. There was a phase in my life when I used suicide threats to try and gain attention and sympathy (From family and elders, not from friends), but that never made me comfortable with the idea. I just wanted help, not death. The knife, the garrote, the pills never got any less scary, though the 'Standing Up To People Three Times Your Size Who Could Probably Kill You' did. Heh. And people can change. I don't want to name any names, but I have a friend who used to be a ...woman of the night. And depressive-suicidal. Her husband left her, and she's been having to raise a kid, alone. But she's one of the strongest women I know, now, even if we're not regularly in contact, anymore. It's possible she died, I suppose. But I've only rarely ever seen anyone who's talked about suicide on the internet, actually going through with it.

Take it from me, fellows. If someone really wants to die, they'll do their best to die. They won't talk about it with more than a small group of one to four people, if any at all. That's my experience, at least. If someone is desperate for attention, and doesn't get any, well, maybe they'll go through with it, or for any number of other reasons... But the most serious threats you should consider are the ones whispered to you in the dead of twilight, at three o'clock in the morning, not the ones splattered all over a forum post or blog page or 'Friends' message.


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Re: Oh, god, I missed you guys.

Postby Mr. » Tue Feb 26, 2008 11:51 am

Kaoru wrote:Awww, personal story hour is over already?


Nah, I just meant that to be the end of mine :P

Desler wrote:He may still be alive but that kind of behavior is not normal, transvestite or otherwise.  I don't have a degree in psychology or anything, but it seems to me that when you can start toying with suicide threats to gain sympathy, you may become a little bit too comfortable with that idea and start to think that it really might be the answer.  I think the guy also had some real life issues too and probably did off himself, to be honest.  In any case, I doubt we will ever know if that really happened or not, and its best not to dwell on it.  Some people just have self destructive personalities.


Some people's personalities can change, over time.  And yeah, I don't see where the whole transsexual thing ISN'T a real life issue. 

But I must say that being comfortable with the idea of suicide does not imply a likelihood of committing it.  I hate to say it, but I know that from my own experience.  I know it very, very well.  And I'm fairly certain that honestly considering suicide comes before suicide threats, in this case.  It's not just something you decide one day.  Suicidal thoughts are not simply made up of fake threats, real threats, and suicide itself. 

I feel like I've got more to say on the matter, but I really don't know how to say it.  But reading that, it just felt... patronizing, and demeaning. 


EDIT:  /\/\/\ -  What he said.

Also, I meant to ask in my other post, but, what sort of job are you hoping for that it should be an issue?  I mean in this day and age, it's becoming much less significant, in terms of social impact.
Last edited by Mr. on Tue Feb 26, 2008 11:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Oh, god, I missed you guys.

Postby Kaoru » Tue Feb 26, 2008 12:19 pm

Mr. wrote:
Kaoru wrote:-Kaotext goes here-

Nah, I just meant that to be the end of mine :P
Desler wrote:He may still be alive but that kind of behavior is not normal, transvestite or otherwise.  I don't have a degree in psychology or anything, but it seems to me that when you can start toying with suicide threats to gain sympathy, you may become a little bit too comfortable with that idea and start to think that it really might be the answer.  I think the guy also had some real life issues too and probably did off himself, to be honest.  In any case, I doubt we will ever know if that really happened or not, and its best not to dwell on it.   Some people just have self destructive personalities.

Some people's personalities can change, over time.  And yeah, I don't see where the whole transsexual thing ISN'T a real life issue. 
But I must say that being comfortable with the idea of suicide does not imply a likelihood of committing it.  I hate to say it, but I know that from my own experience.  I know it very, very well.  And I'm fairly certain that honestly considering suicide comes before suicide threats, in this case.  It's not just something you decide one day.  Suicidal thoughts are not simply made up of fake threats, real threats, and suicide itself. 
I feel like I've got more to say on the matter, but I really don't know how to say it.  But reading that, it just felt... patronizing, and demeaning. 
EDIT:  /\/\/\ -  What he said.
Also, I meant to ask in my other post, but, what sort of job are you hoping for that it should be an issue?  I mean in this day and age, it's becoming much less significant, in terms of social impact.

That has to be the biggest ego-boost I've recieved this week - someone else referencing my own explanation for something as a stand-in for their own. 'Woot', as the saying goes.
And, uh...career-choice. Would you kill me if I said 'Politician'? If so, I should probably start running...now.
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Re: Oh, god, I missed you guys.

Postby Marco » Tue Feb 26, 2008 12:24 pm

I suppose I could be wrong, I base all my opinions on experience and patterns of behavior I've seen in other people or myself - just saw a trend there that wasn't looking too good.  I do it all the time with my friends, make assumptions based on their behavior, about their family, about how they grew up, and then see if I'm right later by observing them or asking them.  One of my many hobbies.  I don't take what anyone says at face value, instead, I look for patterns of behavior, a far more accurate way to assess how someone might react in future situations.  Our brains are trained for repetition, our life is full of repeating phrases, doing the same tasks, speaking the same greetings, etc.  People who have a pattern of irresponsibility for instance, even if you are a great friend, will eventually end up being irresponsible friends.  Proof:  Never loan money to an irresponsible friend, for he will surely not repay you, as happened to me, despite how good a friend I thought he was.  I hope to god that people can change though, otherwise I never will -finish- a SC2 campaign.

Who knows, it is the internet, sometimes people just get bored and make up personalities just to mess with other people or explore parts of their psyche. 
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Re: Oh, god, I missed you guys.

Postby Kaoru » Tue Feb 26, 2008 1:02 pm

Desler wrote:I suppose I could be wrong, I base all my opinions on experience and patterns of behavior I've seen in other people or myself - just saw a trend there that wasn't looking too good.  I do it all the time with my friends, make assumptions based on their behavior, about their family, about how they grew up, and then see if I'm right later by observing them or asking them.   One of my many hobbies.  I don't take what anyone says at face value, instead, I look for patterns of behavior, a far more accurate way to assess how someone might react in future situations.  Our brains are trained for repetition, our life is full of repeating phrases, doing the same tasks, speaking the same greetings, etc.  People who have a pattern of irresponsibility for instance, even if you are a great friend, will eventually end up being irresponsible friends.  Proof:  Never loan money to an irresponsible friend, for he will surely not repay you, as happened to me, despite how good a friend I thought he was.  I hope to god that people can change though, otherwise I never will -finish- a SC2 campaign.

Who knows, it is the internet, sometimes people just get bored and make up personalities just to mess with other people or explore parts of their psyche. 

Or because it seems like a good idea at the time, heh. Psychoanalyzing your friends like that - psychoanalyzing anyone like that - is a useful skill, especially since it helps you get the measure of folks quickly. But people can surprise you. I knew (And am glad to say, still know) someone who was absolutely anti-seriousness-on-the-web. Anti-commitment in online friendships or relationships, anti-drama, all of that. They weren't the kind to leap on someone who was suffering and capitalize on their misfortune - they were just the sort to turn a blind eye to it. But I learned through association with this person that it wasn't due to callousness, merely due to their own feelings that they couldn't adequately express their own emotions about such things - fear of seeming foolish or unkind, in other words, rather than an intent to be cruel.

I definitely know what you mean about loaning money to people, though. My father still owes me $1,437, from years and years and years back, and I highly doubt I'm ever going to see that money. On the other hand, though, I'm sort've in the habit of just giving money away without thought to being repaid, these days. I'm a believer in spreading wealth rather than hoarding it - after all, basic economic theory says that one of the main reasons people try to amass material wealth is due to a desire for fame, fortune, and the power it all offers. In that vein, I'd rather be famous for giving money to those who need it, than for living in some sort of ultra-expensive, secluded fortress, made up to match all of the ideal things I want in life. (Hint, Neverland, Hint, Hint...)

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Re: Oh, god, I missed you guys.

Postby Magic » Tue Feb 26, 2008 1:45 pm

Mr. wrote:I don't really think that it was... a "result" of that.  That's a fairly accurate short version, despite the fact that "opposite sexual beliefs/persuasions" is an extremely simplified way of saying it :P

T'was a short version, I wanted to make it ambiguous in case AA7 wanted to tell it a different way. Fortunately, he's comfortable with it but I thought I'd err on the side of caution. :)
Desler wrote:I made it a point not to get involved in that entire affair when it was going on, though I do remember several people saying some rather rude things to Ruaquick, and if memory serves, some even suggested suicide or something?  Or maybe it was him who was talking about that?  I don't know, maybe I am just remembering it wrong - I never really took interest in that whole thing.  I did however, wonder what happened to him, and I sometimes wonder if he is even still alive.  That may be overly dramatic, although he did seem to be a person who could not handle emotional burden.  The fact that we have seen, off and on, other community members come back to this forum, but never him, is probably not a good sign though.

I hope you at least debated with yourself whether to call Rua a 'he' or 'she'. ;) However, I respect people who take on either option (I'm not being cheeky by referring to Rua as the opposite to you in my post, I guess it's an old habit from when we used to chat). There was a lot more to it - her dad (a sheriff) was massively against it and apparently would chain her in her bed, she ran away, went through several boyfriends and experimented with medicinal drugs then talked about suicide a lot.

I use the word 'apparently' there for a reason, I think Rua absolutely loved attention. Things like what Mr. posted weren't unique to him, put it that way. It doesn't detract from the shame of her predicament though.
Mr. wrote: It would be nice to hear from her, just for confirmation of that, but I don't really expect it.

Agreed, if sadly. We've seen a fair few people come back but never her over the years.
Kaoru, I will say that I have also had... somewhat similar experiences in the past, and I would consider myself to be pretty much the same.  I have found one guy, in the past, who I did really like, but none since.  And that is a story that I shan't recount in great detail, either, but it has nothing to do with time. :P  That's a story the internets don't get to hear.  And no, it did not involve buttsex, any other sex, or penises in general, before someone jumps in here and suggests as much.  It's just more personal than I'd like to share.  But my point is, I like girls, but I've got nothing against guys, either :P

[/personal-story hour]

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Re: Oh, god, I missed you guys.

Postby Marco » Tue Feb 26, 2008 1:49 pm

Kaoru wrote:
Or because it seems like a good idea at the time, heh. Psychoanalyzing your friends like that - psychoanalyzing anyone like that - is a useful skill, especially since it helps you get the measure of folks quickly. But people can surprise you. I knew (And am glad to say, still know) someone who was absolutely anti-seriousness-on-the-web. Anti-commitment in online friendships or relationships, anti-drama, all of that. They weren't the kind to leap on someone who was suffering and capitalize on their misfortune - they were just the sort to turn a blind eye to it. But I learned through association with this person that it wasn't due to callousness, merely due to their own feelings that they couldn't adequately express their own emotions about such things - fear of seeming foolish or unkind, in other words, rather than an intent to be cruel.

I definitely know what you mean about loaning money to people, though. My father still owes me $1,437, from years and years and years back, and I highly doubt I'm ever going to see that money. On the other hand, though, I'm sort've in the habit of just giving money away without thought to being repaid, these days. I'm a believer in spreading wealth rather than hoarding it - after all, basic economic theory says that one of the main reasons people try to amass material wealth is due to a desire for fame, fortune, and the power it all offers. In that vein, I'd rather be famous for giving money to those who need it, than for living in some sort of ultra-expensive, secluded fortress, made up to match all of the ideal things I want in life. (Hint, Neverland, Hint, Hint...)


Or you could just be a pushover, someone who passively allows himself to be led around by the circumstances of his life, who has to find reasons to make himself feel better about that aspect of himself, something he might consider a weakness, by inventing reasons why it is ok.  Don't take my comments personally, I don't have any evidence to back that up, just giving an example of what else it could be, assuming I actually knew more about you.

I can probably say that the other side of the spectrum is correct for me.  I like to, and demand to be in control.  Take my previous example of my irresponsible friend who didn't pay me back.  Because of that, I am willing to lose a friendship and withhold forgiveness in order to try to grasp that control, in an effort (most likely futile) to manipulate my former friend into paying me back the money he owes me.  You would be able to grasp this if you looked at what kind of person I am based on the public information you do know about me.  A man who made his own site and made all the important decisions for it for the time he was in charge.  A man who at one time tried to shut this site down in an effort (another futile one) to control the opinion of another person.  I'll gladly admit and acknowledge my weaknesses, but we can't just get rid of those things either, because they can also be a source of strength.

Because of my need for control, I left a sure thing (having my campaign on StarCraft Legacy, an established site with guaranteed promotion) to establish my own site.  That ultimately resulted in a positive result, a great site with years of memories and fun.  Its also that need for control that kept me from joining the work force and instead starting my own, albeit very small, business.  That allows me to eat, have a nice house, all that good stuff.  Another positive.  If you knew this stuff about me, you could more easily manipulate me.  Do something that takes away my control of a situation, and there is a good chance you'll see a predictable response.  I'll most likely do something to try to regain control. 

Psychoanalyzation is a fun hobby.  You can learn a lot about yourself, others, and the human race in general.  It's almost a spiritual practice to me, and it has helped me understand humans more.
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Re: Oh, god, I missed you guys.

Postby Marco » Tue Feb 26, 2008 1:53 pm

Magic wrote:I hope you at least debated with yourself whether to call Rua a 'he' or 'she'. ;)


As I recall, that was a huge source of debate in the arguments.  And I did notice the he/she variable in this conversation.  The fact that I am using HE says enough about my opinion on the matter.
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Re: Oh, god, I missed you guys.

Postby Kaoru » Tue Feb 26, 2008 2:44 pm

Desler wrote:
Kaoru wrote:-Insert stuff Kao said. All of it. Yes, all of it!-


Or you could just be a pushover, someone who passively allows himself to be led around by the circumstances of his life, who has to find reasons to make himself feel better about that aspect of himself, something he might consider a weakness, by inventing reasons why it is ok.  Don't take my comments personally, I don't have any evidence to back that up, just giving an example of what else it could be, assuming I actually knew more about you.

I'm not offended. You could be right, actually, based only on what I've told you. On the other hand, though, I don't actually understand your reasoning. I could be a pushover...why? Because I give money to others? I guess you could make that claim, if you assumed I was intimidated by them, or did it out of pity, or any number of other things were true. I've got plenty of weaknesses, believe you-me, but while I'd like to think I come across as mild-mannered, most of the time, I hardly think of myself as a 'pushover'. I could be, though. The most distorted lens to view the self through is one's own eyes.

I can probably say that the other side of the spectrum is correct for me.  I like to, and demand to be in control.  Take my previous example of my irresponsible friend who didn't pay me back.  Because of that, I am willing to lose a friendship and withhold forgiveness in order to try to grasp that control, in an effort (most likely futile) to manipulate my former friend into paying me back the money he owes me.  You would be able to grasp this if you looked at what kind of person I am based on the public information you do know about me.  A man who made his own site and made all the important decisions for it for the time he was in charge.  A man who at one time tried to shut this site down in an effort (another futile one) to control the opinion of another person.  I'll gladly admit and acknowledge my weaknesses, but we can't just get rid of those things either, because they can also be a source of strength.

I've always valued friendships a little more highly than most of the people I knew. A little too highly, in fact, in my early years - back then, I was a pushover. (I recall giving away large parts of a vast toy collection in an effort to court favor with other children, for instance, a plan which unsurprisingly failed miserably.) And I was not only a pushover, I was an antisocial pushover. So what friendships I did have were important to me. That still sort've holds true, at this point in my life, but I'm a lot more laid-back than I used to be. (Exposure to actual popularity and seeing oneself on television tends to put things in perspective, a little.) And I'd say we all like to have a bit of control in our lives. You just take that to what some might consider 'extremes'.
Because of my need for control, I left a sure thing (having my campaign on StarCraft Legacy, an established site with guaranteed promotion) to establish my own site.  That ultimately resulted in a positive result, a great site with years of memories and fun.  Its also that need for control that kept me from joining the work force and instead starting my own, albeit very small, business.  That allows me to eat, have a nice house, all that good stuff.  Another positive.  If you knew this stuff about me, you could more easily manipulate me.  Do something that takes away my control of a situation, and there is a good chance you'll see a predictable response.  I'll most likely do something to try to regain control. 

Psychoanalyzation is a fun hobby.  You can learn a lot about yourself, others, and the human race in general.  It's almost a spiritual practice to me, and it has helped me understand humans more.

I've always been fond of your works, and my opinion of you certainly doesn't suffer when I see you speaking so candidly (If a bit boastfully, but you certainly deserve to brag) about yourself. Congratulations on your small measure of success so far, and here's hoping you reach far greater heights, in the future. And, that you an' I never lock horns over control of an issue!

Magic wrote:...and apparently would chain her in her bed, she ran away, went through several boyfriends and experimented with medicinal drugs then talked about suicide a lot...

Yeah. The 'apparently' is the important thing, there. I try to treat claims on the internet the same way I'd treat claims made to my face, most of the time, but some of the more outlandish ones, even I'll be skeptical about. On the other hand, when seeking to understand someone, watching and understanding the things they focus on when they present themselves is an important handle to gaining insight on them. Whether they happen to be true, or not. There are examples that could be brought up by just about anyone here, I'm sure, where some of the most standard claims someone has made have turned out false, and some of the most impressive claims have turned out to be true. See Desler's reasoning on 'psychoanalyzation', above.
The vast majority of people go through some homosexual experience (even if just feelings) when growing up, especially in puberty. While religions may argue for what they believe is the purity of creation against 'abomination', I believe it's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.

I remember my father's reaction when I told him I wanted to have a boyfriend. He didn't hit me - I was actually very surprised, by the look on his face, that he refrained. He calmed down very quickly, though. He didn't spout off anything about it being 'wrong', 'immoral', or 'sinful', though I'm sure some (Hebrew) variant of those thoughts had some place in his mind. He just, very matter-of-factly, told me that I was too young to make that decision, yet. At the time, I really was. I'm rather glad I didn't push the issue.


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Re: Oh, god, I missed you guys.

Postby Mr. » Tue Feb 26, 2008 2:52 pm

Kaoru wrote:And, uh...career-choice. Would you kill me if I said 'Politician'? If so, I should probably start running...now.
-The sound of footsteps receding into the distance is all that can be heard, from then on!-

----- (There needs to be some better quote distinction here, seriously)

Kill you?  No.  I'll assassinate you, obviously. 

I was actually thinking that you may have said that.  And I can understand sexuality being an issue there.  Hopefully that will change, at some point, but you're probably right.  And it makes sense that, since gender is insignificant, you could choose the one that would make your life easier.  Also, the government needs less homophobes.  And in general, I think that a politician is a respectable choice... IF you aren't a jerk.  I'd say that you're probably not, though :P  Don't do retarded stuff, don't lie about it after you do retarded stuff, and politely decline flights on private jets, and I'm behind you 100% ^_^

Magic wrote:The vast majority of people go through some homosexual experience (even if just feelings) when growing up, especially in puberty. While religions may argue for what they believe is the purity of creation against 'abomination', I believe it's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.

-----

I just want to say that I am far from ashamed of it.  It's actually a story I wish I could share here in personal story hour, because it consisted of a fairly long series of events, the sum of which has greatly influenced me, as a person.  But there are a few vital details that... I am not willing to reveal here :P  Not because it's anything embarrassing, just for privacy reasons.  I'll just drastically simplify everything, and say that when all was said and done, I <3'd him.  A lot.  But he didn't <3 guys.  Couldn't really blame him for that.  And it really didn't end badly at all, it wasn't like a painful rejection, or anything, because, well... it' just something that wasn't possible :P  And we were still on very good terms after that.  We still are, but have since gone our separate ways.  And I've long since moved on, but still I subconsciously <3 him, anyway  :D  It makes me giggly to remind myself of it. 

Without all of the details, that sounds considerably less interesting, but as I mentioned before,  the details were spread out over a fairly long time, and they all added up to be a fairly significant thing in my life, for many different reasons.  And my sexuality is not, in fact, at the top of that list.  It's near the top, but it's not AT the top. 

Oh, and Magic, I never mentioned whether this was one week ago, one month ago, one year ago, or one decade ago.  I will only say that it has been a decent amount of time since then, but it was long since all of the "wtfbbq" of puberty. 
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Re: Oh, god, I missed you guys.

Postby Marco » Tue Feb 26, 2008 3:07 pm

Kaoru wrote:

I'm not offended. You could be right, actually, based only on what I've told you. On the other hand, though, I don't actually understand your reasoning. I could be a pushover...why? Because I give money to others? I guess you could make that claim, if you assumed I was intimidated by them, or did it out of pity, or any number of other things were true. I've got plenty of weaknesses, believe you-me, but while I'd like to think I come across as mild-mannered, most of the time, I hardly think of myself as a 'pushover'. I could be, though. The most distorted lens to view the self through is one's own eyes.


I've always been fond of your works, and my opinion of you certainly doesn't suffer when I see you speaking so candidly (If a bit boastfully, but you certainly deserve to brag) about yourself. Congratulations on your small measure of success so far, and here's hoping you reach far greater heights, in the future. And, that you an' I never lock horns over control of an issue!

Yeah. The 'apparently' is the important thing, there. I try to treat claims on the internet the same way I'd treat claims made to my face, most of the time, but some of the more outlandish ones, even I'll be skeptical about. On the other hand, when seeking to understand someone, watching and understanding the things they focus on when they present themselves is an important handle to gaining insight on them. Whether they happen to be true, or not. There are examples that could be brought up by just about anyone here, I'm sure, where some of the most standard claims someone has made have turned out false, and some of the most impressive claims have turned out to be true. See Desler's reasoning on 'psychoanalyzation', above.

I remember my father's reaction when I told him I wanted to have a boyfriend. He didn't hit me - I was actually very surprised, by the look on his face, that he refrained. He calmed down very quickly, though. He didn't spout off anything about it being 'wrong', 'immoral', or 'sinful', though I'm sure some (Hebrew) variant of those thoughts had some place in his mind. He just, very matter-of-factly, told me that I was too young to make that decision, yet. At the time, I really was. I'm rather glad I didn't push the issue.


Well said.  I'm also very egotistical, which is why I tend to shift a lot of conversations to my favorite subject, me.  But really, the 'analysis' of you was just a blind guess based entirely on probability of motive (in other words, theory), but not fact.  I'd have to have any number of conversations with you to even begin to understand what kind of person you really were, and even then, it would be an incomplete picture entirely because you never get an accurate picture of someone off the internet.  I have a ton of closets in my skeleton that I won't be sharing with any of you guys any time soon.  The beauty of the internet, you only reveal what you want people to see.
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Re: Oh, god, I missed you guys.

Postby Mr. » Tue Feb 26, 2008 3:48 pm

Desler wrote: I have a ton of closets in my skeleton that I won't be sharing with any of you guys any time soon.


ROFL

I don't know if you meant to phrase it that way, but you've made that saying incredibly hilarious, and I will probably say it that way from now on.

Oh, and, uh... serious dramatic stuff.  Yes.  Very important. 


I, too, enjoy figuring out who a person is.  And while I typically don't like to boast, I will say that I tend to be fairly accurate when making guesses, even with very little to go by.  I typically do that, however, not usually for sport, but for figuring out how to talk to a person.  Everyone talks differently depending on their company, but I like to be very precise with it.  The ways in which one uses words to say something can dramatically effect the meaning of something.  It can also effect how a person perceives something, while leaving the meaning the same. 

In a way I fear that the extent to which I do this could be considered manipulation, pushing someone toward the mindset, or emotion, or reaction that I would like them to have.  I like to think that I do that more to push someone away from a reaction that I don't want them to have, which, typically, is that person thinking that I am insane.  While that may sound quite sinister, 99% of the time, I'll just be tailoring my words to a specific person so that I can say exactly what I mean, and be certain that they will interpret it as I intended.  I am typically painfully shy, and perhaps the reason is that I never like to talk at all, unless I know how to talk to that specific person.  And I realize that pretty much everyone does this, at least on a subconscious level, but I think I put an unusual amount of conscious effort into the way I say the things that I say, for the most part. 
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