Yells of Freedom (Contest version Completed)

(June 6th, 2009 - June 15th, 2009) Completed: July 31st, 2009
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Re: Yells of Freedom (Contest version Completed)

Postby omega20 » Mon Aug 17, 2009 2:20 pm

chris wrote:Right, I've played through most of the zerg episode, it has a very interesting story, perhaps more interesting and engaging than all the other campaigns I've tested so far. The missions start out quite, nicely, even the B&D ones are fun... but I strongly believe that there is no chance at all that this campaign is going to be a winner due to 2 very big problems and a minor con:

A) While the script is virtually devoid of real typos (thus showing you made a great deal of effort in professionalizing it), the grammar deteriorates gradually in the campaign until it reaches a point where I have to read the briefings 3 times before playing in order to understand what it is the characters are trying to Say. Look omega, its clear that your first language is not English, but next time find an English friend to proofread your scripts and check for grammar mistakes.


Ah... it's not only about English not being my first language. Sometimes, time can run out very quickly. Normally, as I've been doing in past months, I'd spent entire hours checking out grammar and spelling in order to release a decent job. However, I was unable to spent those hours, as as such, this is the result. It'll be fixed in the updated, more carefully done and fixed version I'll release soon, indeed.

chris wrote:B) to-be-continued.... every other campaign is a finished product, except this one. Thats not good..


Again, time. Always time. What can I say? I was unable to finish the entire product in time. I only released what I already did because I wanted feedback (about gameplay) to improve it in the future. Also, it was either that or nothing. And I didn't wanted such work to be wasted like that, so I release it before time. Only after I did I wonder myself if I did right and if it was worth of it. Anyways, this will be fixed.

chris wrote:C) While the missions start out with some fun B&D scenarios the later missions become very repetitive, especially the siege of aiur missions which were all nothing but standard B&D missions with hardly any dialog or anything going on. luckily it improves later on when kerrigan's cerebrate tells her who is in charge of the terrans. its just a minor thing


I wanted to add some features besides the B&D gameplay to some missions, specially those Aiur missions. However, I was unable to add them properly in time. I attempted to add as few B&D missions as possible on the campaign. Actually, only maps 4, 5, 10 and half from 3 are actually entirely designed for B&D. In the others you have to defend your base, capture/destroy objects from enemy bases or are simply stealth missions.

chris wrote:Out of all the campaigns I've tested so far, this one, to me, had the most engaging plot of them all, which is why it is depressing that the grammar later on makes it impossible to take anything in the campaign seriously anymore.


Glad you liked it. And I comprehend your complains about grammar tyops and so. However, I promise you that the new and updated version will include more features on maps, the Terran campaign and, hopefully, less grammar typos. I'm also thinking on making a mod with custom portraits and music, but that isn't decided yet. I hope you to play that version once it's released. ;) Thank you for your feedback, as well. :D

Cheers!
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Re: Yells of Freedom (Contest version Completed)

Postby chris » Mon Aug 17, 2009 2:27 pm

omega20 wrote:Ah... it's not only about English not being my first language. Sometimes, time can run out very quickly. Normally, as I've been doing in past months, I'd spent entire hours checking out grammar and spelling in order to release a decent job. However, I was unable to spent those hours, as as such, this is the result. It'll be fixed in the updated, more carefully done and fixed version I'll release soon, indeed.
This is why I don't like competitions. Yeah, sure they encourage people to make campaigns, but they also force them to rush with their work, leaving people no time to treat it as a work of art. The only person who didn't rush their campaign was the oracle, but look at what happened to him as a result... I believe this competition should at least have been 2 months longer don't you agree?
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Re: Yells of Freedom (Contest version Completed)

Postby omega20 » Mon Aug 17, 2009 2:47 pm

Krazy wrote:
chris wrote:
omega20 wrote: Yeah, sure they encourage people to make campaigns, but they also force them to rush with their work, leaving people no time to treat it as a work of art. The only person who didn't rush their campaign was the oracle, but look at what happened to him as a result... I believe this competition should at least have been 2 months longer.


I disagree with this.  One or two people I've talked to basically admitted that they never would have finished at all without the contest format.  And although every campaign has been or can be improved in some ways, I'm not sure I'd say that all of them feel rushed or incomplete. 


I not even wrote that... at all... :-\ It's funny how the 'quote from: omega20' link redirects to my previous post in this thread, though lol

chris wrote:
omega20 wrote:Ah... it's not only about English not being my first language. Sometimes, time can run out very quickly. Normally, as I've been doing in past months, I'd spent entire hours checking out grammar and spelling in order to release a decent job. However, I was unable to spent those hours, as as such, this is the result. It'll be fixed in the updated, more carefully done and fixed version I'll release soon, indeed.

This is why I don't like competitions. Yeah, sure they encourage people to make campaigns, but they also force them to rush with their work, leaving people no time to treat it as a work of art. The only person who didn't rush their campaign was the oracle, but look at what happened to him as a result... I believe this competition should at least have been 2 months longer don't you agree?


1 or 2, yes. The previous contest (the SCMCC) was 3 months and a half long. And keeping in mind that I returned from holidays on August 1st... well... that was really annoying... specially when I had the terrain for all terran missions pretty much finished and the only thing that remained was to add triggers and such. :-\
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Re: Yells of Freedom (Contest version Completed)

Postby thebrowncloud » Mon Aug 17, 2009 2:54 pm

chris wrote:
omega20 wrote:Ah... it's not only about English not being my first language. Sometimes, time can run out very quickly. Normally, as I've been doing in past months, I'd spent entire hours checking out grammar and spelling in order to release a decent job. However, I was unable to spent those hours, as as such, this is the result. It'll be fixed in the updated, more carefully done and fixed version I'll release soon, indeed.
This is why I don't like competitions. Yeah, sure they encourage people to make campaigns, but they also force them to rush with their work, leaving people no time to treat it as a work of art. The only person who didn't rush their campaign was the oracle, but look at what happened to him as a result... I believe this competition should at least have been 2 months longer don't you agree?

I agree that it should be longer, but 2 months might be a little excessive. I'd say one month more would have been fine.

I do find it interesting that the majority of the contestents (including myself) are deciding to make updated/finished versions of their projects. Just goes to show how time can cut one's plans short.  :-\
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Re: Yells of Freedom (Contest version Completed)

Postby chris » Mon Aug 17, 2009 2:56 pm

krazy wrote:although every campaign has been or can be improved in some ways, I'm not sure I'd say that all of them feel rushed or incomplete.
do bear in mind that I have only played half of the available campaigns, and do bear in mind that I'm saving the ones with custom exe's for last, and do bear in mind that I almost forgot about your campaign which clearly isn't rushed. :)
Zilla- wrote:campaign creations presents campaign creations starcraft campaign contest

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Re: Yells of Freedom (Contest version Completed)

Postby thebrowncloud » Tue Aug 18, 2009 6:07 pm

Alright, sir. Gonna play your campaign now. Looking forward to reviewing it!  :)

EDIT: Is there a mod for your campaign? For some reason the dark templar guy in the first mission (the one you showed in one of your videos with the two zealots and one talks about his day, etc. etc.) has the portrait of a Khaydarin Crystal every time he speaks, including the briefing. I wasn't sure if you used any custom portraits or not, so I'll hold off on this one for now until I hear what's up from you. Don't want to be playing the campaign unless it's the way you intended it to be played. ;)
Last edited by thebrowncloud on Tue Aug 18, 2009 8:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Yells of Freedom (Contest version Completed)

Postby Dem0nS1ayer » Tue Aug 18, 2009 8:06 pm

I think Omega said that he was going to release the mod after he completes the third episode of this campaign.
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Re: Yells of Freedom (Contest version Completed)

Postby thebrowncloud » Tue Aug 18, 2009 8:19 pm

Dem0nS1ayer wrote:I think Omega said that he was going to release the mod after he completes the third episode of this campaign.

Ah, okay. If that is the case, then I'll save this campaign for later. Let me know when it's done, omega!  ;)
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Re: Yells of Freedom (Contest version Completed)

Postby omega20 » Wed Aug 19, 2009 3:27 am

thebrowncloud wrote:Is there a mod for your campaign? For some reason the dark templar guy in the first mission (the one you showed in one of your videos with the two zealots and one talks about his day, etc. etc.) has the portrait of a Khaydarin Crystal every time he speaks, including the briefing. I wasn't sure if you used any custom portraits or not, so I'll hold off on this one for now until I hear what's up from you. Don't want to be playing the campaign unless it's the way you intended it to be played. ;)


Yes, there'll be a mod with new custom portraits and something else. However, the DT guy at the introduction map has the Khaydarin Crystal portrait because I wanted it to have it (to hid his face, identity, etc). In later missions he'll have his own portrait.

Also, in the updated and improved version of the campaign, it'll have all (or at least, most) of the bugs fixed (including grammar, that I've noticed is horrible). Third episode and the mod will be added, and I'll add new features to some maps for them to be not only B&D missions. :-\
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Re: Yells of Freedom (Contest version Completed)

Postby Ricky_Honejasi » Sun Oct 11, 2009 4:16 pm

Critical Aspects

-> YES - Campaign's storyline is between Starcraft 1 and Starcraft 2.

Comments related to the direct scoring

===TEXT

-> + Text formatting (although minor issues for long text lines at times)
-> - A ridiculous amount of typos.
-> - Grammar can be questionable at times.
-> - 6 to 7 untranslated Spanish text lines (2+ for game dialog, 2 for unit names, 2 for folder names).


===PROFESSIONAL

-> + Very good thread updates with screenshots and videos
-> + A few sounds added there and there
-> - No credit section at all

===TRIGGERING

-> + Fairly basic triggering and functional overall (with a few average exceptions on one or two maps).
-> + Use of switches and locations
-> - Two critical bugs (both unavoidable and obvious)

===MAPPING - LAYOUT

-> + The layout seems very good overall.
-> + Had no trouble maneuvering the maps.

===MAPPING - BEAUTY

-> + Very good overall
-> + Very good placement of doodads

===Brownie Points
Note : This doesn't influence directly the scores but might improve it

+ Occasional custom music used


===Drawbacks (outside the score system)
Note : Might potentially influence negatively the campaign's scores.

- Way too many Build & Destroy missions
- Kerrigan doesn't seem too believable (tend to overreact too much, too "out of control", etc. vs original's Kerrigan)



===INDIVIDUAL MAPS=====


General

Issue : Folder names containing the mission maps are in Spanish.

Issue : Sudden lack of map description when selecting maps from Zerg 5 and onwards.




Campaign Prologue Map

Typo (Mission) : "Him" instead "him" (said by Garross, no reason for capitalization)

Typo (Mission) : "think" instead of "thing" (said by Unknown, near end of cutscene)

Typo (Mission) : "energies" instead of "energy" (the energy only comes from one source)



Zerg Map 1

Issue : A lone marine's dialogue line wasn't translated from Spanish to English. This is after you find the Devouring Ones.

Complain : When it comes to the part where a mesage tells you can summon more from the beacon, it should be noticed in the game menu's objectives as well.

Odd : Did Kerrigan ever referred his underlings as "vassals"?

Typo (Briefing) : In mission objectives, "Reagroup" instead of "Regroup"
Typo (Mission) : In mission objectives, "Reagroup" instead of "Regroup"
Typo (Mission) : "vasalls" instead of "vassals"


Zerg Map 2

Odd (Brief) : "probes" when it should be "drones" (since Kerrigan is Zerg and no mention of capturing Protoss Technology was said.)

Typo (Briefing) : "Thir" instead of "Their"
Typo (Briefing) : "unkown" instead of "unknown"
Typo (Mission) : "The" instead of "They" (in "The wouldn't be able")
Typo (Mission) : "caparaces" instead of "carapaces" (said by Kerrigan)


Zerg Map 3

Bug : Kerrigan can be killed by the player's troops and not suffer defeat.

Odd : If you have any sight of the map on upper-left, it looks odd that Kerrigan arrives in an ultra-slow Overlord.

Suggestion for above : The overlord shouldn't spawn for a certain time and then spawn at its initial spawning location and arrive at its destination while the overlord in question have the speed upgrade OR a hero overlord is used instead.

Odd : Again, "probes" when it should be "drones" (since Kerrigan is Zerg and no mention of capturing Protoss Technology was said.)

Typo (Brief) : "travelled" instead of "traveled"
Typo (Mission) : "Anyways" instead of "Anyway"
Grammar (Mission) : "these Protoss not even should be here." instead of "these Protoss should not be even here."
Typo : "Another" instead of "Other" in "Another Broods were tasked"
Typo : "learnt" instead "learned" (as in "During my stay among [...], I learnt much about their warp travel systems.")
Typo (Mission) : "inmediately" instead of "immediately"



Zerg Map 4

Typo (Brief) : "Iend" instead of "I lend" (as in "Iend you the great privilege")
Typo (Brief) : "freight" instead of "fright" (as in "You can't freight me")
Typo : "warrior" instead "warriors" (when it should be plural in the context in question)



Zerg Map 5

Odd : Can be odd to just be able to capture the Khaydarin crystals without wiping red's guards and destroy tan to finish the mission.

Typo (Brief) : "thar" instead of "that"



Zerg Map 6

Typo (Brief) : "quatities" instead of "quantities"
Typo (Brief) : "unabling" instead of "preventing" (as in "[...] damaged my DNA structure, unabling my Drones to morph [...]")
Typo (Mission) : "doubt" instead of "debt" (as in "I'm in doubt with you now", after being rescued)
Grammar (Mission) : "for" instead of "to" (as in "You aren't paid for sleep!")


Zerg Map 7

Typo (Brief) : "misteryous" instead of "mysterious"
Typo (Brief) : "him" instead of "he" as in "why him is so interesting"
Typo (Mission) : "parcially" instead of "partially"


Zerg Map 8

Complain : Kerrigan should start with 100% energy considering it is a commando mission.

Issue : Beacon's unit name is still named in Spanish instead of translated in English.
Issue : Statis Cell's unit name is still named in Spanish instead of translated in English.

Complain : "Morphine" seems a bit of a bad excuse (it only relieve pain, not heal) to "heal" units considering it is Starcraft (and the units are near a terran/protoss building). Another name or method could easily been used instead in that context.

Odd : (Statis) Cell 2's and Cell 3's dialogs are odd if you didn't trigger the text for Cell 1 first.

Issue : Going to the Cells gives you resources but doesn't tell that you gained them nor that you can upgrade somehow.

Typo (Brief) : an unnecessary "I" in "for reasons I unknown"
Typo (Brief) : "trust worthy" instead of "trustworthy"
Typo (Mission) : "cryo-hybernation" instead of "cryo-hibernation"
Typo (Mission) : "transfered" instead of "transferred"
Typo : "you" instead of "your" (in "until you arrival")


Zerg Map 9

Typo (Brief) : "time" instead of "team" (as in "a scouting time to track him")
Typo (Brief) : "disappeared" instead of "disappear" (as in "Why did you disappeared from [...]")
Typo (Brief) : "techonogies" instead of "technologies"
Typo (Brief) : "you" instead of "your" (as in "not even you vaunted Khaydarin enhanced Zerg [...]")
Typo (Mission) : "live" instead of "living" (in "we still can living after")


Zerg Map 10 a/b

Odd (Brief) : "saving heroes" sounds too odd (should be "saviors")
Typo (Mission) : "learnt" instead of "learn" (as in "I've learnt about [...])
Typo (Mission) : "recents" instead of "recent"



Zerg Epilogue

Typo (Mission) : "sll" instead of "all"




Protoss Map 1

Complain : Terran/Protoss should be invincible (except rescuable).

Typo (Brief) : "reagroup" instead of "regroup"
Typo (Mission) : "not" instead of "no" (as in "there's not time to waste.")
Grammer (Mission) : "But be hurry." instead of "But do hurry."



Protoss Map 2

Complain : You shouldn't have the minerals initially until you reach the base site since the player might waste it in advance.

Critical : You are given 300 minerals but you need 400 to create your first Nexus ultimately preventing to make an army. You need to build an army to be able to win this map.

Issue : Considering that you can build shuttles, it is possible to transport into the AI protoss base yet the players ends up being confused since they might not understand that they need to meet the two guarding zealots to trigger the next cutscene.

Bug : It is possible to destroy the yellow units and buildings at no consequences whatsoever (retribution-wise).

Bug : Possible to kill the yellow warp gate (before it belongs to the enemy) to trigger Kerrigan's "failure" speech before the Zealots' speech. Looks even more odd when the Zerg units comes in when there is no longer a Warp Gate when triggering the Zealots' speech after.


Typo (Brief) : "as sooner as possible" instead of "as soon as possible"
Typo (Brief) : "safe" instead of "safety" (as in "for the safe of people")
Grammar (Brief) : "Cyrus, be hurry." instead of "Cyrus, do hurry.
Typo (Brief) : "nearing" instead of "nearby" (as in "A nearing base has sent a distress call")
Typo (Mission) : "inmediately!" instead of "immediately!"
Grammar (Mission) : "how were they" instead of "how they were" (as in "But we don't know how were they able to arrive here")
Typo (Mission) : "Bur" instead of "But"



Protoss Map 3

Issue : Another untraducted Spanish line (ghost's line after the zealots come in, very early in the map)

Typo (Brief) : "Shakuras'd" instead of "Shakuras"
Typo (Brief) : "seemgly" instead of "seemly"
Typo (Brief) : "remeber" instead of "remember"
Typo (Brief) : "anthing" instead of "anything"
Typo (Brief) : "succesful" instead of "successful"
Typo (Mission) : "reagroup" instead of "regroup"
Typo (Mission) : "alert" instead of "alerting" (as in "We must stop them from alert their main force")
Typo (Mission) : "inmediately" instead of "immediately"
Typo (Mission) : "Congrulation" instead of "Congratulations"



Protoss Map 4

Typo (Brief) : "are" instead of "area".

Complain : A long unnecessary pause at some point in the briefing.



Protoss Map 5

Typo (Brief) : "mantaining" instead of "maintaining"
Typo (Mission) : "beyong" instead of "beyond"
Typo (Mission) : "Shield Battering" instead of "Shield Batteries"



Protoss Map 6

Issue : Another untraducted Spanish line (A line from the Zeratul's character, first minutes into map)

Typo (Brief) : "crosshing" instead of "crossing"
Grammar (Brief) : "But I can't even lost how're you who bring me to them" ... really doesn't make sense.
Grammar (Mission) : "during" instead of "for" (as in "[...] has belonged to the humans during generations")
Typo (Mission) : "based" instead of "base"



Protoss Map 7

Odd : Looks odd to see your minerals/gas increase during Khylliar's speech at mission's start.

Bug : Destroying the Warp Gate by your own troops doesn't result in defeat.

Odd : Looks a bit odd that the crystal just vanishes off off the probe if Khylliar entered the warp gate (or worse if carrying probe died but crystal is in base).

Issue : We wonder why there is a an upside-down "?" in Kerrigan's speech (as in "KHYLLIAR?¿?") .

Complain : It is possible to "lose" if somehow your first probe carrying the crystal died on the "outside" borderline of your base (as in entering to trigger the escape and getting out of the location) while the second probe already warped out (as opposed to have kept the second probe to pick).

Complain : Kerrigan feels too much out of character in this map (mostly on how she complain about the situation).

Typo (Brief) : "we're you" instead of "why are you" (as in "May I know we're you helping us?")
Typo (Brief) : "we're in doubt with you now." instead of "we're in debt with you now." (after being rescued twice)
Grammar (Brief) : "And I'm willing to get the debt back." instead of "And I'm willing to pay the debt back."
Typo (Brief) : "milennia" instead of "millennia"
Grammar (Brief) : "brought" instead of "bring" (present instead of past, demanding a favor)



Protoss Map 8

Issue : The objectives doesn't mention that the crystal must not fall into enemy hands (since it is a triggered defeat in this map).

Critical : Bringing Khylliar and the crystal to the beacon doesn't finish the map (which you are supposed to for victory).

Type (Mission) : "nore" instead of "more"



Protoss Map 9

Typo (Brief) : "by" instead of "for" (in "their fleet withdrew [...] by unknown reasons.")
Typo (Brief) : "relieft" instead of "relief"
Typo (Brief) : "Anyways" instead of "Anyway"
Typo (Brief) : "managed" instead of "manage" (said by Sonork, not the first briefing line)

Typo (Mission) : "taht" instead of "that"
Typo (Mission) : "knowlegde" instead of "knowledge"



Protoss Map 10

Typo (Brief) : "sooner" instead of "soon" (as in "as sooner as possible!")
Typo (Brief) : "advancid" instead of "advancing"
Typo (Brief) : "wil" instead of "will"
Typo (Brief) : "responsability" instead of "responsibility"
Typo (Brief) : "posibilities" instead of "possibilities"
Typo (Mission) : "emmits" instead of "emits"
Typo (Mission) : "expung" instead of "expunge"
Typo (Mission) : "strengh" instead of "strength"
Typo (Mission) : "succesfull" instead of "successful"
Typo (Mission) : "assualting" instead of "assaulting"
Typo (Mission) : "guid" instead of "guide"
Typo (Mission) : "crystlas" instead of "crystals"

Protoss Epilogue

Major Issue : No credit section at all.

Typo (Mission) : "withour" instead of "without"
Typo (Mission) : "chared" instead of "charged"
Typo : "an" instead of "and"
Typo : "moral" instead of "morale"

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Re: Yells of Freedom (Contest version Completed)

Postby omega20 » Tue Oct 13, 2009 11:03 am

Thank you very much for posting this, Ricky. :) I'm gonna keep all of this in mind in order to improve the campaign and to fix the many bugs within it.

Ricky_Honejasi wrote:===TEXT

-> - A ridiculous amount of typos.
-> - Grammar can be questionable at times.
-> - 6 to 7 untranslated Spanish text lines (2+ for game dialog, 2 for unit names, 2 for folder names).


Well, since this campaign was first made as a Spanish campaign, I attempted to traduce it as better as possible (not good enough, as I can see :P). Because of that the ridiculous amount of typos, questionable grammar and untranslated sentences that I forgot to translate.

Ricky_Honejasi wrote:===PROFESSIONAL

-> + Very good thread updates with screenshots and videos
-> + A few sounds added there and there
-> - No credit section at all


Glad to know that. About the credits, there's of course a credit section. Unfortunately, they were supposed to be in the (yet unreleased) Terran campaign, and I forgot to add them to the Protoss epilogue. My fault. :P

Ricky_Honejasi wrote:===MAPPING - LAYOUT

-> + The layout seems very good overall.
-> + Had no trouble maneuvering the maps.

===MAPPING - BEAUTY

-> + Very good overall
-> + Very good placement of doodads


Oh, thank you. :D


Ricky_Honejasi wrote:===Drawbacks (outside the score system)
Note : Might potentially influence negatively the campaign's scores.

- Way too many Build & Destroy missions
- Kerrigan doesn't seem too believable (tend to overreact too much, too "out of control", etc. vs original's Kerrigan)


I've already though about it. About the B&D missions, I may add some new things (some stealth objectives here, some boss battles there...). And about Kerrigan's character... I'm thinking on change her by a new character created from scratch (perhaps a Queen, a Defiler, a sad and lonely Ultralisk looking for a family...). That's the problem I've always had with her. I tend to overreact her personality too much...
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Re: Yells of Freedom (Contest version Completed)

Postby Krazy » Wed Jun 23, 2010 12:53 am

Omega, I know you've long since moved on to new and exciting projects, but your links are now quite dead. 
http://krazygaming.freeforums.org/

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Re: Yells of Freedom (Contest version Completed)

Postby omega20 » Sat Jun 26, 2010 10:46 am

Krazy wrote:Omega, I know you've long since moved on to new and exciting projects, but your links are now quite dead. 


Since I stopped work on this project long ago and don't think it will be ever finished, I don't know what the point may be of having them revived. Sorry. :(
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Re: Yells of Freedom (Contest version Completed)

Postby Juch » Mon Jan 05, 2015 8:37 pm

omega20 wrote:
Krazy wrote:Omega, I know you've long since moved on to new and exciting projects, but your links are now quite dead. 


Since I stopped work on this project long ago and don't think it will be ever finished, I don't know what the point may be of having them revived. Sorry. :(


Sorry for the necro, but looking for a download link of this campaign if anyone has one. I would be very grateful. :plz:

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Re: Yells of Freedom (Contest version Completed)

Postby Church » Thu Jan 08, 2015 7:14 pm

StarCraft Fan Campaign Listing

Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.


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