Sry for double posting, but there is a reason for that.
I watched the intro and played some of the second mission- received some missions outside the city, killed creeps, went to the city, went around the southern part of it, got to the dungeons of the magic tower, took a summon spell, started exploring caves.
Now my thoughts:
Intro- this part made me scarred. Terraining is terrible there, dialogs are even worse. Why the hell is the witch called Catwoman? It's not funny, it's only stupid.
Another thing that was supposed to be funny was that accident that happened to the guy. I know it was supposed to be absurd, but I just don't take it, I think it should be changed. It would be better if you made it so that he tripped over some branch or sth while talking with his girlfriend and hit a stone with his head and THEN fel into coma. This would also be quite funny, but more serious. The death anim fits it more. And it would give better possibilities- you would make Thale screaming his name and the screen slowly blacking out- and then, we would meet them at the witch's house. Thale would talk, the guy would lie somewhere near on the ground. Talking that he's alergic is overcomplicating this shit and makes it stupid, scaring the player off.
And one more thing, about art- the corpse appears on the ground when the guy falls down. It's possible to make that without the corpse appearing.
About dialogs- boring, not interesting, poor English, typos. Ask someone more fluent to them. The intro has to be made tip-top, to make the player like the campaign straight away!
So to sum up- improve the terraining, change witch's name, change the accident, improve dialogs.
1st mission. This suprised me, it was 10 times better quality than the intro. I like the floating numbers and letters showing damage, low hp or mana.
Terraining is much better there but it still could be improved. Try using weather effects, wind, dust on the ground, light effects. Use combinations of doodads to make impressive buildings or mountains- I think just playing Med. MapGuy's Mordork's Quest, watching the begining cinematics, could inspire you.
Crates and other destructibles- in some places, like near the windmills on a hill(very good terraining there!) are placed to make the terrain nicer. In other places, they contain(or not) items. Those which are placed to improve the outlook should be invulnerable or converted to doodads. That's my opinion.
Banish skill- I got no idea why it's there. It would make sense if Thale had a magic attack. But now, it doesn't fit her and other spells at all. The healing skill is good. One of the worst mistakes in RPG-style maps is when you can't heal yourself and gotta run through whole map to the nearest fountain. Heal was a good idea and synergises well with the summons.
Summons- I like the general idea, but they could be changed. If wolves need no mana for spells, why the other creeps do? They quickly run out of mana, there's only one of them, they attack slower. They are WEAK compared to wolves. Maybe make just some of their spells also have no mana cost?
And about the dungeons- why the heck is there an uber-high tower there, right of the library/throne room? It looks like a skyscraper in a cellar, lol.
MUSIC. Currently we hear human standard music in the background. MISTAKE. This campaign is supposed to be an ADVENTURE, and human music is dull and too lofty. If you want to use standard wc3 music, take orc pattern or night elven, they are more lively, but I would suggest importing something. Some film music would be the best- it could be LOTR, Pirates of the Carebean, Gladiator, something in that taste. Maybe you could think of something better.
Don't be afraid of using imports. This is a campaign, it can have more than 4 MB. Find some skin or model for Thale. The normal Jaina model looks, imo, too much of a fairy tale. Try finding something with more toned colours, not so damn shiny and trashy. Unfortunately, the only acceptable one I've found on hive was this:
http://www.hiveworkshop.com/resources_new/skins/360
But this one makes her look more witchy, so why not?
Generally, I think this map got potential. It's in Rexxar style and I LOVED Rexxar's campaign. Some improvements and it will pawn.
