Life

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Marco
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Life

Postby Marco » Tue Jan 04, 2011 11:05 am

How's life going for everyone here?

Here's my story as of late: I've been feeling a bit down lately... not quite enough to make an entire emo post, but enough just to at least mention it. My studies of religion and philosophy have left me a bit empty. I found a wealth of knowledge, wisdom, and inspiration - but truth was elusive. I've pretty much given up my search for greater understanding for the moment. I watched an anime recently called Angel Beats which pepped me up though. I've been going to school which is fun, even though I'm 30. Though everyone says I look 20, so I suppose I should just go with it and pretend to be 20. I had to rewrite my campaign and I'm kinda stuck at the moment. I had such a great story but I know I'm only going to have enough in me to do this for one year, so I had to rewrite it so it wouldn't be a half finished work. I was Mr. Positive for a long time, then something happened which got me a bit, a few people continuously let me down. I know I shouldn't have expectations for others, only for myself, but it still sucks.

My interest in video games was purely SC2 this year. Everything else just wasn't that exceptional. Dance Central was a great game, it's really fun and people love to come by. Deus Ex is my one great anticipation this year. I decorated my living room not with couches but with a bean bag chair. Everyone loves it. I can afford couches but I love the chair! Everything else is good, money coming in steady, a promising future, etc. I already have one solid career opening lined up for me for when I finish college, a family friend, that's reassuring, though I'm trying to do it on my own. One thing I'm absolutely determined to have this year is a good healthy and above all long lasting relationship with someone. To that end, I've been taking up both pool and bowling in an attempt to get out more and meet more people. I loved asian music growing up, but it's been a bit of a weak point so this past year I've been familiarizing myself with American music. It's good, I guess I placed too much importance on being different in the past just to give myself an identity. I feel like I've outgrown the need to try to be something specific and just go with the flow.

Yep, I'm becoming a bit generic, a bit normal, though it's been all positive so far, for the most part. A few bumps along the way, but that's life. The most interesting thing of all is, I actually feel like I don't have to be nice all the time, and I really do feel that a little conflict is important in relating to people. Getting through these P90X workouts is a big ego boost, the only one that I still have trouble with is Pylometrics. I think I'll just maintain after I have a moderate amount of definition, not looking to be some huge athletic guy, but learning how to eat right and exercise has given me a lot of confidence and stability. Well, I'm terrible at opening up to people, one thing I learned this past year is that I give people way too much information. I'd go into much more detail, but that's enough I think. ;)

Seriously, how are things going for all of you?

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Re: Life

Postby Falchion » Wed Jan 05, 2011 4:01 am

I don't know about much in my life, but I know this: I've been managing to get out of the depressive moods, which only now are rare. And I'm growing. In morale, skills and willpower. So much in writing as in 3d arts. My proof of it is, of course, my Nathaniel Battle Frigate model, which I'm motivated to finish it, my first fully modeled and textured 3d ever. Yes, there are many other areas in need to make the Duality mod the greatest. But my good skills in 3d are a hell of a kickstart.

But that's only in the digital world, because here, in the real world, nothing much changed. I'm still on the hunt for a job. I'm not pretending to return to university until I can pay it, but I need a job for so. And, in each passing day, I feel like time's running out, albeit it goes slow. I'm still afraid of socializing, it's light this time, but still I'm afraid. If you haven't passed what I passed on Brazilian High School, you won't know what I'm talking about. Forgive me, but it's the truth. My old matters with my nemesis haven't passed away, and I still see him as I walk towards the streets. I still remember the laughing faces, hearing them echoing in my voice every time I lose a Starcraft II match or something goes wrong. All that laughter reminding me of the twat I was. The nightmares continue with my old times, some of them getting to the absurd of those morons I once called colleagues killing my parents.

I'm one to believe that life is the sum of all experiences. And, of course, 2010 has had it's problems, for me. Self-Punishing problems, a penis surgery that almost left me castrated, a fight with SgtHK at DeviantArt, amongst other things. The results of losing left me many times over the edge, to the point I wanted to commit suicide. I slapped my own face, beaten myself, bitten my arms, sweared to myself, believing I was making self-discipline for my incompetence. The surgery was of medical incompetence too, or a demonstration of how mercenary are medics becoming these days. Lastly my fight with SgtHK began with a moment of heat, for frustation in dealing the 3d Max materials. I always depended on tutorials to lead on, and when I came to look for SgtHK tutorials, they were deleted. In the heat of the moment, I published a journal entry ranting about him. Of course, I talked to it about my parents, and my father cracked me down:

Number two: GODDAMMIT, SONNY! You don't need to win just to be better than him! What the hell's going on, the Felipe I knew never gave a fuck about those things, now what? If he's to be always better than you, don't even give a damn thing to it! You're already making a hell of a job with this gaming thing of yours, it's helping you, you'd beat other ideas ten to one... Damn, you're much more than this...


After that, I've read my journal entry and realized how stupid I sounded.

My gaming expectation was purely on SC II, like Marco, especially after the disappointments of C&C 4. Of course, there was Mesk to rant about it, but I only agreed with him on two things: How messed up is the editor and the Overmind's voice acting, which entirely murdered the classic SC antagonist. Other than that, I only have problems with technical stability, to the point of either crashing every time I resume the single-player campaign, or a multi-player map loaded, or SC II not loading at all. Starcraft II installation is, for me, the greatest technical mess ever, as I have many times to pray for a miracle. I've complained thrice about it on their forums, and they replied to me that the install was meant to be perfect on 64-bit systems. I don't swallow bullshit like that. Because somehow I believe poor coding related to Windows 7 Ultimate Edition 64-bit has something to do with this. As with the overall stability of the game by it's whole.

Yep, that was me for 2010. Now, in 2011, I hope it doesn't come down to this again and I can pass through the experience that is first job.
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Marco
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Re: Life

Postby Marco » Wed Jan 05, 2011 7:55 am

I'm surprised to see stability issues in SC2, it seemed pretty stable to me, at least when you do not use the map editor. I'll be sure to avoid any surgery or medical treatment while in Brazil. I haven't heard anyone describe surgeons here as 'mercenaries'. They certainly pay them enough and train them enough. Despite all our other health care issues, I think I'd rather have surgery in America than any other country. Though some bright young forumer will probably find an article saying why I should never have surgery in America.

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Re: Life

Postby Thalraxal » Fri Jan 07, 2011 4:56 pm

I watched Angel Beats! during the holidays and enjoyed it quite a bit. My only complaint was that it felt like they'd expected and planned for a full season, but ended up with half of that (TVTropes confirmed my suspicion!). So many cool secondary characters, not nearly enough spotlight. Still, it was awesome.

Anyway, lifewise, going good. Been busy with school for the most part lately.

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Re: Life

Postby DrumsofWar » Thu Jan 13, 2011 2:23 am

Honestly, the biggest thing is a career or a job you can have passion with. I spent years reading up on fascinating topics but they lose their luster unless you can follow up on and do something with it. Even taking a job for six months that you like can push you to be more social and find purpose in the mundane everyday tasks. Working in solitude is often tougher because you're waiting for that faroff day when your labors will be recognized or released.

As for gaming, I'm learning not to get too hyped on the buzz. Dragon Age 2 seems nice and Gears of 3 might be worth a buy if only to play with friends.

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Re: Life

Postby Falchion » Thu Jan 13, 2011 4:41 am

Man, it's a literal hell on water here in my town. This is the result of two days of non-stop raining: http://www.bjd.com.br/album/chuvas100111/index.htm

For gaming this year, I choose Killzone 3 and Crysis 2. Killzone wasn't too sure for me as they announced it, but after the new gameplay and story trailers, which they improved alot, I can say I'm now interested.
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Re: Life

Postby Lavarinth » Thu Jan 13, 2011 12:40 pm

Life. Hah, life. Maybe I'll detail this more later. Back to my life of work for now.
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Re: Life

Postby Mr. » Thu Jan 13, 2011 8:08 pm

My life has been pretty damn great this past year. I think it has something to do with the fact that in May, I moved to Chicago, from Virginia, to be with my girlfriend. So I've been here for over eight months, and I am as happy as can be.

In 2008, I ended up dropping out of college, and moving back in with my parents. I was tremendously depressed, and a terrible wreck of a human being. I went back to a job that I had had before, and for two years I worked there, and paid back the debt I had racked up with student loans. And during that I time, I ended up developing a relationship with this girl over the INTERNET. So I ended up quitting my job, and moving up here.

After I got here, I was unemployed for about four months, until I finally found a crappy job making almost nothing. So I've been with that for a while now, making just enough to get by, with a little extra for video games or something. But I don't care if I'm poor right now. I've got everything I need, and I'm with my favorite person in the world. I never would have imagined that I could be this happy, while I was wallowing in pits of despair a couple years ago. But here I am.

Also, I've been playing a LOT of video games. It's always been my hobby, and what I've had fun doing, so I intend to keep doing it. And it's great to play games with my girlfriend, like New Super Mario Bros Wii, Kirby's Epic Yarn, Left 4 Dead, Alien Swarm, and we play single player games together by taking turns playing a single playthrough. And I'm still playing plenty by myself, some great games lately have been Castlevania: Lords of Shadow, Fallout: New Vegas (despite all the damn bugs), and Super Meat Boy (goddamn fantastic game). I'm definitely looking forward to Deus Ex, too, as well as The Last Guardian, and some others. I don't intend to stop, no matter how much I have to grow up.

So yeah. Things are going pretty perfectly for me right now.

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Re: Life

Postby Marco » Fri Jan 14, 2011 12:47 pm

Yeah, finding a good career is something I've always had trouble with. I'm the kind of person who isn't really happy just doing one thing. I figure it is a complete lack of discipline, something I'm striving to improve in myself. When you get to be 30 though, you start thinking about things like stability, and start looking for a permanent direction in your life. At least, that is what happened to me. I got lucky finding a niche that worked for financial stability, but I never felt any sort of satisfaction besides having money in my pocket. I've played it fast and loose with my life, getting a little crazy and avoiding responsibility for much of it, always excusing my behavior due to very unusual circumstances growing up. I feel a lot like one of my favorite anime characters of all time, Justy Ueki Tylor, a man who just wings it through his life. Eventually though, it's a rhetoric which gets old and you gotta grow up. As long as it happens at some point though, that's the important thing. The funny thing is, one of my friends calls me 'inspiring' just because I've helped him work through some of his issues, it makes me feel guilty as hell. He actually inspires me through his hard work, I feel like I haven't done much for myself or for society. Last year was a good start to permanent change that but I still feel like I waited far too long and got sidetracked with distractions too often. Old habits die hard. This year, I at least feel the need to continue growing with every fiber of my being, and my discipline has improved considerably.

Not that I see it happening, but should my old habits consume me again, I think I'd just enlist in a branch of the military. A life without my creature comforts and freedoms for a year or two would definitely set me straight. It's a simple matter of wanting more out of my life than what I've had to this point.

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Re: Life

Postby Alevice » Fri Jan 14, 2011 5:45 pm

Life has had its ups and downs, right now reaching a new hill. Two years ago my father had an open heart surgery which he barely survived.

The entire situation kinda depressed me a lot and made me quit a job without warning to anyone. I then joined Ford-Volvo and worked there for two years, which were quite good, as I had an excellent and inspiring boss. By the time he quit per se and became the DMS Development Project leader everythin went to hell in my dept, alas.

During may 2010, I finally got enlisted for IBM, now dealing with one of the most critical IBM's clients. Job is insanely taxing (I have worked up to 20 hours with a mere 3 hour sleep, only to get back during the night and start another 20 hour long journey, and so on), but it is mentally and emotionally and economically rewarding, and I wouldn't have it any other way. My favorite job so far.

Personally, I moved from Veracruz to Queretaro when I joined IBM, which has been great. Better life quality, prettier girls all around and overall fancier. It helps that now I finally live totally on my own, totally self funded and I a as free as you can get. The only crucial drawback has been that my girlfriend still lives in veracruz, and she wont come here any time soon. I am rather patient, so it is not that bad. Another drawback is that I came from a pace where parties were arodun every fucking where, and this new home is far quieter, which is both good and bad, as I miss partying.


Gaming wise i got a fancy laptop that lets me play any game I can give a shit about. But it turns out that now I rarely give a shit of many games. Starcraft 2 and DoW 2 aside, the only lasting interest so far has been playing Greed Corp. Wii games have suprisingly dissapointed me so far. But eh.


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